Balik Kampung

Babai. 1 week. No Internuts. Oh Lawd.

Potong Stim

So with nothing to do at 2.30pm, I texted a few victims to see where they are (were, by now) going for the countdown. Most of the numbers that I have in my sim card's phone book will usually use public holidays with "eve-eve sound" as a reason to drink and wake up to a hangover the next day. Out of 8 sms to different circle of friends, C came up with the best suggestion. Call came up almost immediately about 3pm:

C: Oi, tonight no place to go har?

Me: Don't know lah, just woke up text anyone see what's their plan.

C: We're going to Rockmount tonight. Wanna go?

Me: Where the fuck is that?

C: A pub near the old Bali there. Got a lot of different chicks there.

Me: OK ON. Call me tonight confirm what time you coming to fetch me.

Hell, you can't blame me. I wouldn't wanna celebrate the passing of the shittiest year in my life with all batangs or light sabres around the table. Not to mention I haven't found a new target since it ended with Rina. So went there to test water for my eyes see how good these "hostess" really are. When I reach there, I know the fucker has been a regular there. One Thai hostess, A, came up and hugged him, I think A has a crush on him cos she wasn't after his moolah or commission from bottles opened. I'm innocent here, I only shook hands with her and a couple more who stopped by while he introduced me to them.

Until this local chick, L, came by, sorta caught my eye for a moment. Cute, as in very, although there's another Thai chick but that one confirmed VIP reservation for our Mr. H lol, so no touchy touchy. What, you think I'm looking for girlfriend or future wife at place like that har? Go dai if you are thinking of that. It was ok at first until this one singer starts yelping with her Donald Duck voice into the mic, and the speakers are all around our place. Cheesus. After that, out of nowhere around 1am it turned into a feng tau haven. WTF. Potong stim. Nevertheless, we left.

Didn't get to say bye to L. Nevermind, with those bunch of frequent hum kar lings they sure will be there few days a week. And no, I tak kena jampi ok.

Happeh Fuckeh Neweth Yearth, mofos.

2008

Dear 2008,

You have received 12 disciplinary notices within the past 12 months in conjunction with our conversations about your behavior and monthly performance. Unfortunately, I see no change in your performance. In this year you have fucked up more than 83 times and sucked on all months except July where your contribution won me Mod of The Month.

I rely on a year that is punctual and conscientious about attendance and deadlines. My clients will look elsewhere if I cannot offer them dependable service. You have demonstrated an unacceptable pattern of behavior. It is obvious you failed to follow what your senior, 2007, taught you. This is just like Pinocchio's nose failing to grow longer when he lie, or Andriy Shevchenko's performance when he was with Chelsea; a 30 million flop. Thus, we can no longer continue your employment. This decision is effective immediately. You will be paid 2 front pages of The Star newspaper dated 2nd July 2008 and 1st December 2008.

Our policy is to give only title of position and dates of employment to companies seeking references. You can be assured the details of this situation will remain strictly a company matter. We wish you the best in your future. Oh wait, you're going to expire in less than 10 hours. And I am pleased to inform you that your junior, Mr. 2009, will be replacing you with immediate effect. Now pack the rubbish you brought to the company for the past 12 months and fuck off. Just in case you just wake up while dozing off in your cubicle, this is a termination letter. Now wipe your saliva off the table and get out. Dettol and sponge is in the washroom.

Sincerely,
Acey

Andrea

4th year of silence. When will we speak again? Remember when you made me promise we'll remain friends if it ended? I kept my promise and until I know what's the reason behind the silence. How are you as of late? I saw someone who is extremely similar to you in the train once and my heart almost popped out of my mouth. And I enlarged my balls just to walk over and ask her if she's you, cos I really hope she'll say yes. It was a no. Just to let you know that whenever I watch any movies with happy ending for the couples in them, its always you that come into my mind, no one else.

Yes, I still think of you quite often although there are others that come and go for the past few years. There are things I've opened my eyes and see more clearly as of late, and I have some to tell you. Until then I'll just keep it within myself. I admit its my ego that got in the way. I couldn't stand it everytime you complain about things I asked you to consider before we got together. And I admit I'm no good and I took more than I give in the relationship. Will I ever forget you? No. Not those time we spend together as well. 3 weeks short from your birthday, 3 weeks and 1 day short from mine. I'm not obsessed about thinking of you or making it a routine, but I feel you just deserve better back then.

Every year I'd hope my phone will ring and it'll be you on the other end. Never happened. Just know that I lost your number, and being bad with numbers I can't remember it or else I would've called way back ago. Some say I can't let go of the past while I deny it but you keep on coming back, but only in my head. Denial. Self denial. Honest truth is, I can't and still haven't. They always say the same thing. "There's always someone better". Bullshit. There isn't and hasn't been.

"I feel it on the inside
Twisting and contorting
Memory has shaped me once again
Still feel you on the inside
Biting through and stinging
Will I ever forget to remember?"

-Mudvayne: Forget To Remember-

Will I?

Flak

Something told by one of my teachers in secondary school. This will be a good lesson to those "Yes, Sir!" cows who are led by the nose by everyone around them. In one word, "spineless" people.

A young man was told how beautiful Pablo Picasso's artworks are and he never saw any before. So one day he headed off to the museum to check them out. Walking around, he starts admiring Picasso's artworks. Just like what he heard, he find all the artworks are beautiful. He stopped at every artwork and admire them for a long time. Finally he reached the last artwork (picture below). When he stopped at the last artwork, there was an old man looking at the artwork with a weird look on his face.

Young man: Very impressive artwork isn't it? They're all so beautiful and marvellous.

Old man: You call this beautiful and marvellous? It's not even nice.

Young man: What are you talking about? This is the work of Pablo Picasso, one of the greatest artist ever.

Old man: Ok. Are you married?

Young man: Yes, why do you ask?

Old man: So, tonight when you get home, your wife is waiting for you at the window. When she turns around she looks just exactly like this drawing, beautiful isn't she?

4th Year

Every year I will have one post on either July or August on my old blog for someone. This year, I've totally forgotten about it. Most of us know what Sherry is going through right now. Reading her latest entry reminds me of someone who taught me how to be someone better when I was younger. Losing a friend is a news that's extremely hard to digest, because everyone will not anticipate that person you know will be gone so suddenly. This is for this year, 3rd year in a row, 3 months late.

I first knew him as a hi-bye type of friend when I was working part time. A random face that popped up at the cyber cafe once in a while to do his work and stuffs. After a while, when he has free time, we would have a good chat while having dinner or a drink at night in front of the place. Although family background is very much different and at first he seem to have this air of arrogance around him, we have quite some topics to talk about for a good 1-2 hours. Before I know him, I've already heard of his reputation from his circle of friends.

What they say about him seems quite far-fetched from the person I know. Once he had a heated argument with someone over the phone and was shouting all the time. Yes, a very hot tempered guy indeed. After the call, he sat down and continued our little yum cha session. He spoke like nothing ever happened while it was just about 30 seconds ago he was shouting like a madman over the phone. I wish I, along with a lot of other people, can be just like you. Never venting your anger on someone else who's not involved. You can continue the conversation as if you just had to stop to tie your shoelace. Tattoos, this idiot reversed his car all the way when he missed a turn and banged into your car near Sunway, the people around you, swiping for a plate of local fruits for your dad's client and got a WTF moment over the price, and how you got those stitches on your mouth lol.

Although I don't hang out with him after my part-time job's shift is done, he will always remind me of his good side. Whenever I see him, he never fail to say hello or hi with the name and a smile. Most people would just nod or smile when they see someone they know, like I do. Sometimes, I was sitting there being a listener while he talk about his problems. How backstabbing some people he consider as close friends are, how some of them treat him as an ATM, how they think he's are a 'nevermind' type of person just because he call them friend, while all along he was holding back from a more serious confrontation.

At Subang Square, I always avoid walking through the entrance that is facing Taylor's Business School. That's the last place I ever saw him alive. After quite some time and not keeping in touch, he still greet with that friendly smile. Sitting on the staircase chatting, he was very happy that he's going to UK to further his studies very soon. I still remember he was waiting for the girlfriend to fetch him as his beemer was in the workshop. We chatted for about half an hour, catching up with what's in between the no-contact time. Then he left when she arrived. Unknowingly, that will be the last time I talk to him.

A year plus down the road, I bumped into one of his friends, and got news he's back. Then I forgot all about it. I walked pass the newspaper stand for 3 straight days, I remember the headlines stating that a Datuk's son was killed. I don't read newspaper at all back then. I don't know how this world works, but it seems like something wanted to let me know the truth that I wasn't aware of at that time. For once I bought a copy of The Star and went home. I saw his name, and I refused to believe. Flipping straight to the page of news, I saw his photo. I texted his friends and after a while, they confirmed that he's really gone.

I was stoned and quiet for the whole day. Tried really hard to digest the fact, but it doesn't work and I couldn't go to bed as I was still trying to think that its not possible. When everyone was fast asleep, I was at the balcony, smoking for a few hours before I finally accepted the fact. The next day, I re-read the news. He was only 23. With a very bright future and near to becoming someone's husband. Can you imagine what its like to read that your friend was beaten to death in an uneven fight that he stood his ground, alone?

We share the same temper, but not the same amount of guts. If my guts would be as big as his, I would no doubt be talking to him on the otherside by now. I didn't know when was the funeral, I didn't want to know at all. Until today, I don't regret I wasn't at the funeral to see him one last time. I want to keep the memory that I last see him saying bye, a handshake, and walking off with a smile. Not lying motionless, because he's always so full of life.

I remember what we talked and joked about, and the problems he shared. It's good knowing him, someone who disregard status, arrogance, and pride. Irregardless of what others tell me about him, how other people look at him, he will always be a good person in my memory. I have yet to pay my respects after 4 years. One of these days, I will. Knowing that he was a religious person, there's no doubt he's at a better place right now.

Everyone will lose track of certain people they've met and known previously. We'll always think 'some other time' or probably will bump into that person somewhere, someday, sometime. Fact is, you just might not.

You would've been 27 by this year.
Rest In Peace my friend.

NAMECUT

I haz a new site for me namecard designs. Itiz called NAMECUT. Sikit sikit example of how to go around customizing your own cards at NAMECUT.

Lai lai hop over and take a look. Click the "NAMECUT" above the pic or the button on the upper right corner of this bollog. Tengkiumanymuj.

Music: Past & Present

Was bored and not even 1% sleepy last nite so was cracking my head to dig back old music from early till late 90s to download. I ended up with something funny. AQUA and their "Aquarium" album. Don't know? Nevermind. Here are artists that I've followed for a couple of albums. Don't really have a passion for screaming bastards except for a couple of tracks, so yeah, not really a very very heavy metal type of music for me. And I usually will backtrack to an artist/band's earlier albums.

First well, Bon Jovi. If you really don't know "Always", I got nothing to say. Backtrack and got some of their older albums. From there, it was The Offspring. Started with "Come Out & Play" and I bought their next album; Ixnay On The Hombre, then Americana. Still following their new albums although Conspiracy of One was downloaded. Shh.






Moved on to Metallica after I heard Memory Remains and starts backtracking to their more glorious tracks and albums. Been buying almost all their albums (Load, Reload, S&M, St. Anger) although not very impressed with St. Anger. Dropped like a sack of potatoes.




Before I leave the final year of secondary school, another friend told me about MM; Marilyn Manson. First thought "Is that a girl?". So went and bought a copy of Antichrist Superstar. HOOKED like a crack addict. Heck, back then to me the sound Manson & his band was playing is beyond god-like.




Early 2000, I bought this capalang mixed-artists metal album cos I was intrigued by the names on the album. Buckcherry with one of their old songs which I can't remember what the title is. Ya, Josh Todd didn't just come out of nowhere with "Sorry" ok? And there was Korn with Trash, still a follower of Korn's stuffs.




Coal Chamber was in the CD too. The moment "Loco" played, its like.. um.. epic orgasm? Though the song is about 1-2 years old by then. I still listen to it nowadays, along with "Fiend" and the funnily-titled "Shock The Monkey" featuring the epic Ozzy Osbourne. They eventually disbanded and the lead singer, Dez Fafara, formed Devildriver which I have followed for 2 albums.




Not really into the lyrics or vocals but more into Johnny B's drums (go YouTube "Clouds Over California" or "These Fighting Words"). Meh, I miss watching Nadja Peulen on bass.. so much tastier than Rayna. Slipknot Slipknot Slipknot! First time I heard of them, I don't know, did I download or was it in the CD too? They were weird at first, 8 masked guys. People=Shit then I got Wait & Bleed etc etc. Only started to sort of tidy up their stuffs starting from Subliminal Verses album and now I only got Psychosocial from their latest album.







After that I heard Nobody's Real by Powerman 5000. Don't know if they're still around or not. Still listen to their older tracks like Bombshell, Supernova Goes Pop, Free, etc. About a year or two later I found out the lead singer, Spider, sounds like someone. More on that later.





Saw Kid Rock's Bawitdaba on MTV and bought his Devil Without A Cause. Still following till today (Cocky, that album with American Bad Ass in it, Kid Rock). From Kid Rock sorta come Ah Lim Biskut... Limp Bizkit that was on that mixed CD with Nookie. Onwards to their Chocolate Starfish album but then their next album was... hopeless (the one James Iha replaced Wes Borland on guitar), and finally Wes Borland left the band (I heard he's back, dunnoh).




I heard someone with vocals almost similar to Spider from Powerman 5000. It turned out to be ROB ZOMBIE. I was, no doubt, went crazy on my The Sinister Urge album, playing it till who knows how many times a day. Backtracking to his older stuffs during White Zombie days, I still find his line-up with Riggs, Blasko, and Tempesta is the one that suits my ears. After Educated Horses and then he started directing movies. Mehh, prolly no more albums from me favorite artist. And oh yeah, why do they sound the same? Cos he's Spider's brother. Serious.



Randy burned me a CD which contains a song called Pig Society. When I played it, that was one of the songs in the capalang CD I bought in early 2000. Its by Dope from Felon & Revolutionnaires album. Epic orgasm, again. From there onwards, there's always Dope on my playlist. Life, Group Therapy, American Apathy, American Apathy Reloaded (I lost their updated version of Burn and Fuck Tha Police). Even their demo "Little Fish" that has been revamped for American Apathy titled "Fuck The World".





Dope. Them good. Too bad Racci Shay left. That's all for now. Some bands are not to be placed in the list as they usually involve a single track, or disbanded after a while. I got some older bands like Guns N Roses, Led Zeppelin, Pearl Jam, AC/DC, Scorpion, Motley Crue, Iron Maiden, and even Elvis. I swear I'm gonna use a flamethrower on whoever that stole my Motley Crue's Greatest Hits CD. It just went POOF. Dammit.

So what's your past and present for music?

Na beh...

Tiok liao loh. Kena this Friendster-type of thing already loh from POM.

THE SELF
[01] Name: Raymond
[02] Nickname: Acey, Buffalo
[03] Married: Nope
[04] Zodiac Sign: Leo... lolcats
[05] Gender: Male
[06] Age: 25
[07] High School: SMK Sacred Heart
[08] College: INTI College Subang Jaya
[09] Height: 178cm
[10] Weight: 50kg
[11] Do you like yourself: Weight-wise no, skin-wise very yes
[12] Piercings: None
[13] Right or left: -
[14] Are you a freak: Yes, caffeine & ink-wise
[15] Hair: Black
[16] Skin: Arms & chest - normal, legs & back - black LOL
[17] Allergic: Steel (esp oily ones) and dust
[18] What are you doing now: This bloody thing
[19] What will you do 1 hour later: Eating 2 burgers nomnomnom
[20] What will you do 10 years later: 35, retired... or dead

THE FAMILY
[21] Live with mother/father/parents: No
[22] Siblings(included you): One very old sister
[23] Eldest: Sister
[24] Youngest: Me
[25] Love/hate your family: Somewhere in between

THE LOVE
[26] You found your another half: No
[27] If yes, who is he/she: None
[28] If no, who you want he/she to be: There is only one Nadja Peulen
[29] Time(s) you in relationship: 4
[30] Ever woo boy/girl(0-100000): DUH, and what's the 0-10000 thing?
[31] Anyone woo you before(0-100000): Twice, both weird people... urgh
[32] Did anything wrong to your other half: Don't think I did.
[33] What was/were the wrong you had done: None?
[34] Ever argue with your other half: Who don't?
[35] You with your other half since: Has joined the 'monastery' for 7 months
[36] Are you straight/gay: Lesbian... trapped in a guy's body
[37] Reasons you love your other half: Already told you single lor
[38] You and your other half in which stage: Haduih...
[39] You woo he/she or he/she woo you: Haiya...
[40] Ever think of marry he/she: Diu lah

THE FRIENDS
[41] Your first best friend: Albert Toh
[42] Your first enemy: None, I don't have the need to make friends with everyone
[43] The friend you love the most: Chris Chu
[44] The enemy you hate the most(1only): None, if people don't like me then be it
[45] Your most beautiful girl friend: This is hard... Rach? Kay Ti? Andrea? Inderjeet? Angelica?
[46] Your most handsome guy friend: Gemmonn Sim (weird name right?)
[47] The kind of girl you hate the most: "Dahling, this one how? Then that one leh?" USE YOUR FUCKIN BRAIN!
[48] The kind of boy you hate the most: One who tells tall stories and thinks people don't know its bullshit
[49] You fall in love with your close friend before: No way
[50] Your best friend is your ex-lover: No, I haven't seen all 4 of them
[51] If your friend backstabbing you: He/She'll be in a lot of trouble
[52] If your friend betray you: Do they even dare to?
[53] If your friend woo your lover: I got steady friends so I don't worry bout this
[54] If your friend fall in love with you: Er, if girls I don't mind, but guys.. I'd run
[55] If you fall in love with your best friend: Its a HE so I won't

THE STUDIES
[56] Are you a good student: No, I went to college with newspaper only
[57] You always done your homeworks/assignments: Yes, when it comes to final year
[58] The teacher/tutor you love the most: Ah Jane.. so damn happening
[59] Always late to school/college: Most of the time no-show cos the sun's too high when I open my eyes
[60] Your class: You can't get any noisier than ours
[61] You love your seniors: Don't really know too many of them
[62] Senior who you love the most: Trincy Teoh, her brain is equivalent to "sot plug"
[63] Your classmates good/bad: Good as in friends, bad as in for the lecturers xD
[64] Excellent result classmate: Kenneth Goh Kambing. Play hard work smart kambing
[65] Laziest classmate: If I put myself next to me in class

THE PEOPLE
[66] Smart people: Alexan Chor
[67] Stupid people: None other than Teteknator
[68] Good looking people: A lot ler donno who to start with
[69] Ugly people: I've seen a lot with ugly 'insides'. If you mean 'yong soi' then me lor LOL
[70] Funny people: Mugu, Teck Soon, Kok
[71] Cute people: Jen Ai... naturally cute LOL
[72] Bad people: Do you include liars?
[73] Honest people: Uma
[74] Acting people: This guy 3 shops away from Chris' PC shop. I donno his name.
[75] You are what kind of people: PMS. Pretty Mean Slut

THE PREFER
[76] Lip or eyes: Can I choose boobies?
[77] Hugs or kisses: What comes after that
[78] Shorter or taller: Taller
[79] Hesitant or spontaneous: Spontaneous
[80] Nice stomach or nice arms: Nice tuakified
[81] Listener or talker: Depending on my volatile mood swings
[82] Romantic or rich: Rich, if you mean myself
[83] Good wife or good mother: What difference does it make? It all still comes back to me duh.

THE FUTURE
[84] Age to get marry: Between 33-35, I don't like to be on a leash
[85] Numbers of kid(s): Don't know, 2 probably?
[86] Career: That's a word in resume to make ppl actually think I'm interested in working for em
[87] Salary: This is a stupid question, the more the better duh.
[88] Retirement age: 35-40
[89] Properties value: I doubt I'll need to go into that, shops probably
[90] Wishes: Question 84-89 will happen 5 years earlier LOL

THE VICTIMS
[91] Spectre
[92] SS
[93] Sue
[94] Muncakes
[95] Sherry
[96] Super Cute Jen Ai
[97] Wet Wet Water
[98] Ah Pek
[99] Tiuniasing
[100] Harry BLP Kia

B.B. Queens = WIN

Went lunch at Wong Kok in SS2 with the usual bunch; Kelvin (kaki makan babi), Sherry (kaki breakfast), and Super Cute (kaki rokok). Fetched Sherry from her house and then waited like forever for Super Cute and W3 to arrive. Was flipping thru the menu while waiting and saw this. I know you wanna keep the drink cold without dilluting the sweet taste, but please, do it another way.

At first we were already having some good laugh when sitting outside of Wong Kok (due to me & Ai having to smoke). Biasalah who knows W3 knows that his laughter can be damn infectious and funny, very loud as well. I don't know if Sherry finished her food or not cos she's more absorbed in re-reading some "funny posts" and invaded Super Cute's laptop. Then she keep on staring at something.

Sherry: That guy in blue. Just now keep on staring at me.

Me: You're "B.B. Queen" what.

Sherry: ......

The B.B. Queens

Babi Abuser: Kelvin

Then when we moved inside as it was getting warmer and Super Cute tried to pull the sofa nearer to the table making the "ERRRRGH" sound... but the thing didn't budge at all. We keep on laughing at the expression and the action until our abdomens can't take it any longer. The 3 aunties sitting next table to us keep on staring. The couple on the opposite side of the glass panel laughed as well looking in. Then after a while, out of nowhere she picked up her phone and shouted:

"Chee bye! My diamond dropped!"

...and threw the bling bling on the table. LMFAO if you see her that time... you'll understand why we keep on laughing until the aunties next table stared at us again. You know, naturally cute people when they curse, aduih, out of words to describe. I laughed until tears came out and Sherry went "This sofa is good. Got arm rest, or else I'll laugh till fall off again.". Since the aunties like cb not happy we went over to Starbucks as Super Cute needs to recharge her lappie.

B.B. Queen 1: Jen Ai

B.B. Queen 2. Sherry

Nabeh, I got pestered to stick her "CB My Diamond Drop" bling bling on my nose as if its a nose piercing. I haven't laughed like today for a very long time. Today is like the 4th time going out with Super Cute but the 1st time hear her curse. LOL. Her cursing = WIN. Super Cute, next time bring Avys along k?

Aih, forgot to take pic of the 7-foot-tall muscular guy with teenie weenie dick at Wong Kok.


Comment I found on Soccernet regarding to Ronaldo claiming he's tough:

"Rono thinks he's tough? In what universe? He spends more time on the
grass than the dew and more time looking at the officials than their wives."

WIN

Closing Doors

* This will be a very very long post but the main point will test you to see if you're willing to "close some doors" like how an article made me see.

Some of you may have known that I'm considering between staying or going. Read an interesting article some time ago, talked about an experiment conducted on uni students. Its a game that has closing doors, and it emulates real life. The experiment, conducted using computers, are actually paying the students real money on the amount of doors they manage to keep open by the end of each round. After a couple of rounds most doors closes faster than ever and its up to the students how many doors they can "rescue".

It actually showed almost all the students who took part in the game lose money. They attempt to keep "doomed" doors open and losing out on other doors. So what the fuck am I talking about? And what do the doors represent? The things that you possess or have surrounding your life right now. A person's career, business opportunities, friends, adaptivity to certain place, favorite things, etc. Its basically all the things you are comfortable with, things that makes you feel good about life, and feel at lost without one of them. Things that money really can't buy. The whole article was about the willingness to give up some things in your current life, in order to explore other new opportunities.

Sacrifice. I believe almost everyone, including me, will be in a dilemma when are asked to close a few essential doors of our life. As far as I know, for almost the whole day today I've been trying to reach a decision and I summed it up to near 100%.


DOORS TO CLOSE:

Door 1: Carefree life
When I left for college, I was really happy. Total freedom, hey, which 16 or 17 year old wouldn't wanna be living alone away from naggy people? Evaluating this door, right now it doesn't make any difference if I close it. Because I can re-open it when the time is right. But closing it, sister tends to get naggy, parents are getting naggier the older they get. How many of you can stand people nagging at you? Don't start bullshitting and say "I can, 100%". No one likes to be controlled, we just wish we can do our things anytime we want, anyhow we like. This door will definitely stay closed whenever I have family members around me. But that is another door to talk about later on.


Door 2: Friends
This is a very hard part. All the wonderful people I've met and known through out the 9 years living alone here. From college, to ex-colleagues, to random shop owners that became friends after frequenting the shop very often. College bunch have always been my main kaki. Ex-colleagues, I still keep in touch with most of them, catching up with lunch & movies when I'm free. Shop owners, from Chris (PC) to Kelvin (tatts) to some random coffeeshop/cafe/pub owners that I still drop by once in a while. I know one thing is I probably won't see most of them again for a very long time if I start packing. We're no longer in college or on holidays, everyone have their own schedule.

It will be like starting all over again, at my very own home state, which will seem to me like a totally new state once I close this door. A door that represents being able to hang out and see this people to catch up with stuffs around us. The people I know in Kuching, is less than what our fingers can count (those with 11 fingers not included). I can make new friends, but its hard to replace and not to recall the time you spent with people you've known for 5-6 years or the whole 9 years. And for the time when they were there for you, closing the door is as hard as unwillingly not returning a big debt. The longer you know them, the harder it is to close this door of your life.

Yeah there's the internet. But internet means shit to the time you spend with them, even for a short 1 hour lunch.


Door 3: Location
I have loved Subang and called it "home" for 9 long years. People here are just so happy-go-lucky (like my Golf-Swing-Practice-At-7-am neighbour) and another reason is how fast I adapted to the lifestyle here. It was more to hectic nightlife during college time, and then the convenience of getting the stuffs I need. Where everything starts; the people you know, the life you lead, etc. I've grown too comfortable with this place (although the road here sucks). Or else why would I even take the hassle to move back all the way from Sri Kembangan? Definitely hard to pack a bag and just walk away from a place I've been in for almost a decade.


DOORS THAT I WANT TO OPEN:

Door 1: $$$$$$$$
Pfft. I admire people who can save up. I do because I rarely save up, as my lifestyle tends to follow the amount I get paid, which is a bad thing. Walking around with no idea what to buy, I have a bad habit of picking up stuffs I "think I need" without looking at the price tag. Especially hand tools and computer stuffs. Back there, they are still trying to convince me its a less "merry" lifestyle and not very high cost of living. I don't know, I am not aware at all of the situation there. As far as I know I don't have the tendency to drink like last time ever since I started work so I guess less nightlife for me.

Fuck, I wouldn't wanna still be sitting in someone else's office anywhere near 35 years old. Counting from now there's only 10 years, and I hope I can make the most out of it so I can reopen the first door I will close; freedom. And no, I don't do multi-level marketing, no thank you. Which way to go, I have a couple of ideas but I'm mostly a person who takes what tomorrow brings and leave yesterday behind irregardless its a good yesterday or a bad one.


Door 2: Family
Looking back, I probably only spend about 3 weeks with them every year. Chinese New Year that is. They're not getting any younger now when their size starts to shrink and hair getting thinner. I've never celebrated my nieces' birthday ever. Nor my parents' & my sister's for the past 9 years. Tho as much as they nag, they have been very supportive all the time as I've seen and heard some friends coming from very bad family background as in conflicts and stuffs. When I start to think about this door, its probably best to close the hardest door right now; friends, just to spend enough time with the old ones. You never know when their time is up when they're in late 50s. Well, I miss home-cooked food too heh. Return of the prodigal son?


I'm supposed to be asleep by now after only 4 hours of sleep in the previous day. Physically I'm worn out, mentally it just doesn't wanna stop. Sometimes I really feel its a curse to have a brain like this rather than a gift. Sitting in front of the PC with music playing, smoking, and looking at a static screen. Some may think I'm stoned, but people who know me knows when I stare at blank nothings, thats when I have something to really ponder. Sooner or later I will get another job with the pay I want, the pay I leave the old job for. But what's the point of still being stubborn when I can cleary see I'm getting nowhere at here.

What the future may hold for me, what the new doors will open up and lead to, I can never tell you right now until I am actually there for some time. But I do know closing those 3 essential doors will be very hard for a stubborn one like me and wasn't sure if I can bring myself to do it. Until about 3am, before dozing off for an hour, for once I feel less temperamental and destructive in this very uncontrolled life. I WILL close the doors instead of chasing in vain like the students. Even if I get a job very soon, I won't linger around here longer than a year. The voice in my head speaks clearly on this issue for once after these 2-3 months.

"Its time to go home, son."


Can you close your doors?

Enter The Faceless Pt 1

From my CIMB Bank days. Since no point keeping them stacked, bare it all. Sometimes my ex colleagues especially Rebecca freaks me out. "Ey Uncle Ray, you know sometimes Jas (manager) went to your cubicle and play with your paper men and check your drawings when you're on MC". GULP.. I thought I was about to be fired. Introducing the creation of the Faceless Pipol:

I still have a lot of ammo for next few parts of Enter The Faceless mwehehehe.

Duduman (link) showed me this site from this SG cheobu called The Bitter Stickgirl (link).
Damn cute lah the katuns there.

Killer Cheonessity

Cheonessity. Was browsing duty free ciggs at Changi Airport this morning when I stumbled upon this. Too bad its not Lucky Strike full flavor filterless which I like a lot but haven't been buying it lately due to the price hike. A lot of sohais donno how to smoke filterless ciggs cos they donno how to pinch the end correctly. And they end up like cow, eating tobacco instead of grass. Silver is lights, and it seems LCCT and Changi's duty free shops don't have any filterless LS.

ONLY SG$ 20.20! RM48.90!

You know how much a pack of LS costs right now? RM9.20 OK? Now its only RM4.90 per pack mwehehehe. I think these 10 packs can last me more than a month if I keep reducing my "intake" from the current 4-8 sticks a day. Meh, 1 week ago I was chimney-ing 20 sticks per day. Still haven't open to try the taste cos I still got my VERY EXPENSIVE SG Winston almost full pack even after 2 days.

Stupid sticker spoil my chrome beauty

Giant pencil box

Not sticker. Its imprinted onto the box

Cheo ler?


MONEY BLOWING: Another RM250 on a new pair of specs at Focus Point cos old one seriously underpowahed =/
SPOILER: Next Post will have 6 INNIT Chicks (new chicks) and 1 INNIT DUDU that I missed out on the previous 2 posts.

Yoohoo...

BRogging from Singapore. Just reached my aunt's place not long and now hogging my cousin's lappie for quite some time. Shit lah, I need a smoke very badly but the cb duty free say SG can't bring in tax-free ciggs. Niama. K I got nothing else to talk cock now.

P/S: My phone cant make any outgoing calls right now and I can't stay logged in on msn so anything just drop me an offline message on MSN.

PC In Our Days

Today's kids are a whole bunch of lucky bastards, no doubt the luckiest little annoying things. Back in the younger days, we soon-to-be-3-piece-old-birds (or some already more than 3 piece) don't have broadband, MSN, Torrent, eMule, Microsoft Office, YouTube or any other bollocks that just pop up in the last few years. We have other wares to use to chat, download any freakin thing, and to play games when I was about 1.5 decades-plus younger. Lets start of with games.

Gaming & hardwares

You lucky bastids nowadays got all new shiny graphic cards by the age of 10 and can play games with great graphics. Back then? We were running on DOS and Windows 2.1x or if more advanced Windows 3.0. The kick ass game with that time's so-called kick-ass graphic: Doom 2, although don't follow up on Doom 3 cos not really a fan of FPS since I ended Counter Strike days. There were Voodoo cards by 3dfx, which eventually was "consumed" by the company a lot of people call GeForce instead of Nvidia today. Older than that, you probably need to ask Mike kekekeke.

Back then hardwares were so freakin expensive and an uber slow. A full set of PC (paria speakers, LPPL keyboards, ball mouse, CRT monitor, fugly beige casing, thats all) costs around the region of 4k to 5k. No wonder my old man goes botak so early. There wasn't any "personal specs" type of PC back then. All came out under some screwed up companies that package the whole thing. Eventually people get smarter and starts "pirated PCs" or what we call "clones". You can request for and your specifications can be obtained for the PC. The only difference is, they fake a sticker of one of those companies and stick it on your CPU. So it was just mostly Pac Man (the silly yellow round thing with mouth?), Doom 2, Pinball, Arkanoid, etc etc back then, nothing fancy. I can't recall some other games that I play that gave me a lot of kicks as a kid.

WTF is MMORPG? No idea. WTF is online gaming? Haven't exist. WTF is cyber cafe? Um, place you yum char in space. Lim peh em jai.


Downloading

Nowadays got broadband damn syiok eh? Click only page open, only some freaking graphics extensive page needs to wait but just for a little while. Last time mana ada such thing. We have 56K dial up which if you have is already very the jialat cos the internet fee itself is more than the amount your sister use having phone sex 9 times a day with her boyfriend. Page loads ok considering back then HTML is not so fancy. No widgets, no nonsense bollocks. If you wonder how sites in 1990s looks like, go and check out Steven Lim's site. But be warned, get your shades ready cos one he's disgusting, two the site's so fugly.

You bastardious little things nowadays got Torrents (although Streamyx have limited the dl rate) and other fancy fancy download softwares. We either search high and low until we find a site that can download stuffs with a couple of miserable links, or we hit mIRC on some certain channels (more to that later). But to download a single song, it might take you forever considering how 56k last time was a shared line with your phone line. That means if you connect, house phone is inactive with static noise till someone calls in. When they call in, you'll start cursing cursing cursing and cursing, cos the call disconnects you.

Porn websites? Got, but need membership one. So all "blue tapes" still came from VHS tapes that time. Now 1MB broadband consider fast for single user and you still wanna kao peh kao bu this not good lah that not good ah? Send your whiny ass back to the 56k era see how you survive. Li na beh.


Chatting

As we get a bit more advanced in computing stuffs, comes teh internets for the lulz. No, there wasn't any 4chan, Caturdays, or Lolcats back then. I don't know the existence of chatrooms till I found Comic Chat by around 1996/97. Every PC then by the default comes with this Comic Chat where you take up comic characters and chat in what looks like a comic page. But the uber or king of chatware happens to be mIRC (Microsoft Internet Relay Chat) that time. It's nothing fancy, just a big-ass public chatroom like the chatterbox you bastards are using nowadays, which is much smaller and useless compared to what mIRC can do.

Malaysian IP were banned from one server (I can't remember what name is it) and we all have to jump ship to Dalnet server instead. We can use it as chatrooms, can create our own rooms, and can even download mp3s on some dedicated rooms with some extensive long commands. Don't play play. It has this sort of thing that if you see someone typing you know he's about mid 20s to early 30s. The "/me" command (I don't do online gaming so I don't know if you use that command or not in online games). Basically on mIRC the "/me" will turn to your nick followed by the action (whatever bollocks you typed behind it) in purple. E.g: "/me slaps ABC" will turn out to be "Acey slaps ABC". There are a lot more other commands which I don't remember at all after the damaging classes of programming during my college.

You want voice chats? We have, but not so easy as MSN. We had a software that I can't remember the name. The thing looks like a bloody old school square grey phone, and each user get their own number. You just punch in the other user's number, dial, they answer, and you start talking over the mic. After that comes the more advanced flower-iconed ICQ, which to me is one bloody irritating thing. Everytime a message comes in and if you forgot to turn off the sound alert, it goes "UH OH" every single line. And when you type with the sound on, it goes "TAK TA TA TAK TAK TA TA TA TAK" like a typewriter. And yeah, it keeps on getting disconnected.

KNN, nowadays sometimes MSN cannot log in due to maintanence some people like can die. Last time we have to grit our teeth when phone calls come in and disconnected us in between of chats or downloads. Worse is, I can't curse when the phone call is from a relative and its for the old lady. Cos by the time I finish cursing I'll be out of saliva. She sets the phone on fire with the time length.


Documentation

Microsoft Office? What's that, can eat one is it? We had fugly word or spreadsheet processing stuffs. I remember getting hauled to typing class by the old man (which now I appreciate its usefulness) using WORDSTAR that is no longer in practice. Everytime we wanna save our work for the day, we use this big ass 5.25" disks that we can slap you lucky new-age people with. Seriously, its freakin big. From the transition of the 5.25" to Floppy then to thumbdrives its like from Vinyl to the cassette to CDs. More old school than that is the 8" disks which I never seen. Anyone have it?

If you wanna do spreadsheets, there is the ever confusing Lotus 123 which I cannot understand at all (I guess I already proved I'm bad with maths since I was young). Green and black thing that makes your eyes spin after a couple of minutes. I just can't stand looking at it. Oh well, DOS and old stuffs are meant to be like that. You think got wizard to help you out? Dream on. Anything donno, ownself go bang wall, drill a hole on the wall and poke it to find solution. No fancy Mr. Paper Clip popping up "Hi, do you need any help on writing an article on fapping?". No keh kiang stuffs like "Do you mean (insert word that you don't need)".

If you type halfway without saving and suddenly blackout jalan lor your hard work. Last time mana got autosave one?


There is nothing else I can think of right now. That's all before you fall asleep on computers during my time. Those people older than me probably gonna say "You also lucky bastard, got computer to use, last time we only play guli!". But I also played guli and riding bicycle around the house compound before I had my first PC.

Haircut

When I get bored, I go get a haircut, really. If I have the length to spare. Was supposed to get tattooed and my left calf done on Monday but too many walk in customers at Kelvin's place (Tattoo Family @ Sg. Wang) so got tired of waiting and went to Clashcut. The owner of this saloon is Max and the wife does manicure there too. By far this is one non-lala saloon in the forsaken Lala Nest itself.

I have very thick hair you see, even each strand is thick by itself so it gets troublesome for me at times when its not-long-not-short. Comb cannot, tak comb cannot. Whack only lah simply gel for work looking like one of those nerds. After so long of decent haircuts from Max, I thought I wanna get something from the past and give Max one hell of a time. I had more different hairstyle than David Beckham ever had. Late last year when I start going to Max's place, its those usual shaved side tidy cut... till Monday.

Saw Max had 2 customers, 1 is a Malay mat rock with very long hair that requires to be straighten. I asked Max if he need an iron to finish the job faster. Ya what, ask the fella to put the head on an ironing board, gosok gosok the hair ma kaotim lor. After waiting like forever, gave Max a tough time getting it down to the right thickness and I got my quite-some-time-ago-hair back again cos I wanna keep it long. Bad news, not long enough yet to do a Chow Yun Fatt xD

I wonder how my next interviewer will react to it.

Updates (8.05pm): Shit lah, when I don't get haircut nobody call for interview. Now I cut already, one interview for Friday and one for Monday. Die mou?

Dilemma

I've toyed with the idea of going back to Sarawak and stay there for good lately. Considering how many months I've been jobless and for the past 1.5 months my phone doesn't even have any incoming calls from companies although I apply for jobs like every 3-4 days once. Feel very the sohai you know, when you keep on peering at your phone wondering if its spoilt or what how come not ringing between 9am-5pm. Feel so damn stuck in between two choices. If only being in this situation feels like this can, I don't mind.

Stuck in the middle

Going back there might do me some good, at least not so much "vice" and "vice partners" I can lead a quiet life compared to here. But one thing is its like starting all over again just like the moment I stepped off the plane alone when I was 17. When I first got here the 1st thing that I'm not used to was "Eh, so many keleng kia one?". Cos Sarawak got only 1-2 that I've seen before. Eventually I got stuck to this place called Subang Jaya. And I moved around quite a lot in the 8/9 years here. SS14 twice, SS15 about 7 or 8 houses, SS12 thrice, Cyberjaya once (work), and Sri Kembangan.

I'll have 0, zero, zilch friends if I move back (to Kuching with my sis instead of Sibu). The only people I know there is my sis and her husband's family, Bryan (cousin's college-going kid), and one of my aunt's family. Pek chek ah. I don't even know what's Kuching like now cos I only go back to Sarawak like once a year during CNY and not going to Kuching at all. The main thing I worry about is "Can I get modding stuffs as easily as I get them here provided I have the moolah?". Or do I have to fly back to KL whenever I'm free? Here I have like yum char friends and friends with shops that can gimme good price on stuffs. Kelvin (tattoo), Chris (PC), Joel (jerseys), dot dot dot list goes on. Girls, at least these few years I don't have this type of case.

Hai Lat Dot Com

2nd of all, I don't know how's the living standards there. I mean basically if someone offer me another 4k job here and I pay expenses of around 2.5k I'd still get 1.5k. If there, god knows what's the current salary cap. I can save on rent only, thats all, cos sis bought an apartment of her own as a weekend place. Zighz, go back tua ki, dont go back also tua ki. Si beh tua ki lah this time.

Tua ki

Don't know don't wanna fuss about it right now. Really taking its toll on me. I just had a haircut and noticed a new batch of white hair on my thick black head. All I know right now I'll just do what I can that's keep looking for new applications. In the mean time I'll keep on modding hopefully it brings something although Paperazzi already made me an over-the-night superstar out of sudden. At least it gives me some distraction and something to work on with more or less enthusiasm at the mean time.

Distraction: Good