Dec 10, 2008


4th year of silence. When will we speak again? Remember when you made me promise we'll remain friends if it ended? I kept my promise and until I know what's the reason behind the silence. How are you as of late? I saw someone who is extremely similar to you in the train once and my heart almost popped out of my mouth. And I enlarged my balls just to walk over and ask her if she's you, cos I really hope she'll say yes. It was a no. Just to let you know that whenever I watch any movies with happy ending for the couples in them, its always you that come into my mind, no one else.

Yes, I still think of you quite often although there are others that come and go for the past few years. There are things I've opened my eyes and see more clearly as of late, and I have some to tell you. Until then I'll just keep it within myself. I admit its my ego that got in the way. I couldn't stand it everytime you complain about things I asked you to consider before we got together. And I admit I'm no good and I took more than I give in the relationship. Will I ever forget you? No. Not those time we spend together as well. 3 weeks short from your birthday, 3 weeks and 1 day short from mine. I'm not obsessed about thinking of you or making it a routine, but I feel you just deserve better back then.

Every year I'd hope my phone will ring and it'll be you on the other end. Never happened. Just know that I lost your number, and being bad with numbers I can't remember it or else I would've called way back ago. Some say I can't let go of the past while I deny it but you keep on coming back, but only in my head. Denial. Self denial. Honest truth is, I can't and still haven't. They always say the same thing. "There's always someone better". Bullshit. There isn't and hasn't been.

"I feel it on the inside
Twisting and contorting
Memory has shaped me once again
Still feel you on the inside
Biting through and stinging
Will I ever forget to remember?"

-Mudvayne: Forget To Remember-

Will I?