4th Year

Every year I will have one post on either July or August on my old blog for someone. This year, I've totally forgotten about it. Most of us know what Sherry is going through right now. Reading her latest entry reminds me of someone who taught me how to be someone better when I was younger. Losing a friend is a news that's extremely hard to digest, because everyone will not anticipate that person you know will be gone so suddenly. This is for this year, 3rd year in a row, 3 months late.

I first knew him as a hi-bye type of friend when I was working part time. A random face that popped up at the cyber cafe once in a while to do his work and stuffs. After a while, when he has free time, we would have a good chat while having dinner or a drink at night in front of the place. Although family background is very much different and at first he seem to have this air of arrogance around him, we have quite some topics to talk about for a good 1-2 hours. Before I know him, I've already heard of his reputation from his circle of friends.

What they say about him seems quite far-fetched from the person I know. Once he had a heated argument with someone over the phone and was shouting all the time. Yes, a very hot tempered guy indeed. After the call, he sat down and continued our little yum cha session. He spoke like nothing ever happened while it was just about 30 seconds ago he was shouting like a madman over the phone. I wish I, along with a lot of other people, can be just like you. Never venting your anger on someone else who's not involved. You can continue the conversation as if you just had to stop to tie your shoelace. Tattoos, this idiot reversed his car all the way when he missed a turn and banged into your car near Sunway, the people around you, swiping for a plate of local fruits for your dad's client and got a WTF moment over the price, and how you got those stitches on your mouth lol.

Although I don't hang out with him after my part-time job's shift is done, he will always remind me of his good side. Whenever I see him, he never fail to say hello or hi with the name and a smile. Most people would just nod or smile when they see someone they know, like I do. Sometimes, I was sitting there being a listener while he talk about his problems. How backstabbing some people he consider as close friends are, how some of them treat him as an ATM, how they think he's are a 'nevermind' type of person just because he call them friend, while all along he was holding back from a more serious confrontation.

At Subang Square, I always avoid walking through the entrance that is facing Taylor's Business School. That's the last place I ever saw him alive. After quite some time and not keeping in touch, he still greet with that friendly smile. Sitting on the staircase chatting, he was very happy that he's going to UK to further his studies very soon. I still remember he was waiting for the girlfriend to fetch him as his beemer was in the workshop. We chatted for about half an hour, catching up with what's in between the no-contact time. Then he left when she arrived. Unknowingly, that will be the last time I talk to him.

A year plus down the road, I bumped into one of his friends, and got news he's back. Then I forgot all about it. I walked pass the newspaper stand for 3 straight days, I remember the headlines stating that a Datuk's son was killed. I don't read newspaper at all back then. I don't know how this world works, but it seems like something wanted to let me know the truth that I wasn't aware of at that time. For once I bought a copy of The Star and went home. I saw his name, and I refused to believe. Flipping straight to the page of news, I saw his photo. I texted his friends and after a while, they confirmed that he's really gone.

I was stoned and quiet for the whole day. Tried really hard to digest the fact, but it doesn't work and I couldn't go to bed as I was still trying to think that its not possible. When everyone was fast asleep, I was at the balcony, smoking for a few hours before I finally accepted the fact. The next day, I re-read the news. He was only 23. With a very bright future and near to becoming someone's husband. Can you imagine what its like to read that your friend was beaten to death in an uneven fight that he stood his ground, alone?

We share the same temper, but not the same amount of guts. If my guts would be as big as his, I would no doubt be talking to him on the otherside by now. I didn't know when was the funeral, I didn't want to know at all. Until today, I don't regret I wasn't at the funeral to see him one last time. I want to keep the memory that I last see him saying bye, a handshake, and walking off with a smile. Not lying motionless, because he's always so full of life.

I remember what we talked and joked about, and the problems he shared. It's good knowing him, someone who disregard status, arrogance, and pride. Irregardless of what others tell me about him, how other people look at him, he will always be a good person in my memory. I have yet to pay my respects after 4 years. One of these days, I will. Knowing that he was a religious person, there's no doubt he's at a better place right now.

Everyone will lose track of certain people they've met and known previously. We'll always think 'some other time' or probably will bump into that person somewhere, someday, sometime. Fact is, you just might not.

You would've been 27 by this year.
Rest In Peace my friend.