Dilemma

I've toyed with the idea of going back to Sarawak and stay there for good lately. Considering how many months I've been jobless and for the past 1.5 months my phone doesn't even have any incoming calls from companies although I apply for jobs like every 3-4 days once. Feel very the sohai you know, when you keep on peering at your phone wondering if its spoilt or what how come not ringing between 9am-5pm. Feel so damn stuck in between two choices. If only being in this situation feels like this can, I don't mind.

Stuck in the middle

Going back there might do me some good, at least not so much "vice" and "vice partners" I can lead a quiet life compared to here. But one thing is its like starting all over again just like the moment I stepped off the plane alone when I was 17. When I first got here the 1st thing that I'm not used to was "Eh, so many keleng kia one?". Cos Sarawak got only 1-2 that I've seen before. Eventually I got stuck to this place called Subang Jaya. And I moved around quite a lot in the 8/9 years here. SS14 twice, SS15 about 7 or 8 houses, SS12 thrice, Cyberjaya once (work), and Sri Kembangan.

I'll have 0, zero, zilch friends if I move back (to Kuching with my sis instead of Sibu). The only people I know there is my sis and her husband's family, Bryan (cousin's college-going kid), and one of my aunt's family. Pek chek ah. I don't even know what's Kuching like now cos I only go back to Sarawak like once a year during CNY and not going to Kuching at all. The main thing I worry about is "Can I get modding stuffs as easily as I get them here provided I have the moolah?". Or do I have to fly back to KL whenever I'm free? Here I have like yum char friends and friends with shops that can gimme good price on stuffs. Kelvin (tattoo), Chris (PC), Joel (jerseys), dot dot dot list goes on. Girls, at least these few years I don't have this type of case.

Hai Lat Dot Com

2nd of all, I don't know how's the living standards there. I mean basically if someone offer me another 4k job here and I pay expenses of around 2.5k I'd still get 1.5k. If there, god knows what's the current salary cap. I can save on rent only, thats all, cos sis bought an apartment of her own as a weekend place. Zighz, go back tua ki, dont go back also tua ki. Si beh tua ki lah this time.

Tua ki

Don't know don't wanna fuss about it right now. Really taking its toll on me. I just had a haircut and noticed a new batch of white hair on my thick black head. All I know right now I'll just do what I can that's keep looking for new applications. In the mean time I'll keep on modding hopefully it brings something although Paperazzi already made me an over-the-night superstar out of sudden. At least it gives me some distraction and something to work on with more or less enthusiasm at the mean time.

Distraction: Good