Nov 11, 2008

Ah Boy's Sex Lesson

Was in Innit for a while yesterday night. Conversation somehow turned a bit to the senget side after a while. There was "facial protein treatment", slow and steady, forgotten one night stand, P.E (not Physical Education, its Permanent Erection), etc etc. Today I tell you about guy's sexual journey according to speed. Very simple, we use movies for example.

First, if you don't watch porn you memang abnormal for a guy. Its the "foundation" for the first time you know? If my future son don't watch porn I'll be scared. Scared his first time he don't even know he's poking at the girlfriend's belly button and keep on trying to get it in. Later charged for manslaughter how? You know those porn lah, all humping like rabbits one. Here is an introduction from a guy's first time until understanding the difference between sex and making love (at least this ability to create flowchart show I didn't waste my college fees).

OK. First time, noobs will skip the order of the movie a bit. Jump straight to the 2nd movie, 2 Fast 2 Furious. At this stage, they will blow either their gearbox or their engine before reaching the finishing line. Ah, something like the 20 Yatz Thunderbolt.

"Haven't finish already blow engine"

Next they will learn the history, they go and "buy the prequel". They start doing it The Fast and The Furious or FnF for short. Now, no more blown engine or gearbox or fried piston rings and manage to get to finishing line in very fast time. In between some nitrous are also injected to enhance speed.

With more experience, they start to be like the third movie, Tokyo Drift. In straight line they pick up speed but learn to slow down as well. Learn when to pull the handbrake and using the brakes at certain times, do fancy fancy drifts and not normal turns that make the girls go wow.

Finally when they finish all 3 movies and don't fancy racing anymore, they opt for a muscle car. Slow and steady or SnS. This final stage take very long at first, then halfway start picking up steam, reach destination safely, and the lady will heave a sigh of relief at the end of the safe journey. See ah, this is why Shar (Racoon) is correct when she said 'slow and steady win the race'. You all watched Nicholas Cage's Gone In 60 Seconds right? Then you know this Mustang below is called Eleanor. Mustangs are muscle cars, unlike Japanese tuners (Evo lah, RX8 lah, Supra lah, GTR-R34 lah).

See ah, guys who reach the SnS stage usually are like muscle cars more. They got not much pick up when starting, unlike tuners that can start off the race very fast. But halfway through a drag race, the muscle car got only 1 word to win a race: TORQUE. Like what my friend Kean Wee last time said "Mei kok che tou la mei kui geh torque tai lan yao lek jor pin tou joi dou?" or "American muscles when it reach quite far its torque is too powerful where can chase?".

But then, some people after they finish all 3 movies, they don't get to the SnS stage. They end up wanting more horsepower, more torque, more giant NOS tanks in their backseat. The girl end up a nympho and the guy a sex addict in simpler terms. That one, we'll refer to a new movie.

Racing for freedom with the aim to kill. Hai lat lorrrrrrrrrrr.

P/S: No, the blog owner never started with 2F2F and didn't blew his engine before reaching the finishing line.

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Blogger Harry said...

wahlah!! so chim.. read liao also need to think senget..

November 11, 2008 12:58 PM  
Blogger blue_racoon said...

and to think it all started with someone wanting to have a shower *ahaks*

November 11, 2008 1:18 PM  
Blogger Acey Tang said...

racoon im still checking my list to see which number u came in LOL

November 11, 2008 7:23 PM  

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