Modern Proverbs

1. A picture is worth a thousand words, none if it shows your spouse cheating

2. The pot calling the kettle black, the kettle calling the pot racist and sued

3. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, Beast is in the eye of the beheader

4. It's always darkest before the dawn, it's even darker when Batman knocks you out

5. It takes two to lie — one to lie and one to provide an alibi

6. Two things prolong your life: A quiet heart and a loving wife. Two things shorten your life: A hole in the heart and a roving wife

7. There is a thin line between love and hate, It's the same line you sign on the divorce papers

8. Give credit where credit is due. Give debit when credit card is due.

9. Behind every successful man there's a woman, and behind every unsuccessful man there's 2.. or more

10. A jack of all trades is master of none. A jackass of all trades is disaster for eBay