Got Silicone?

Modern Proverbs

2009-10-14T00:40:00.002+08:00

1. A picture is worth a thousand words, none if it shows your spouse cheating

2. The pot calling the kettle black, the kettle calling the pot racist and sued

3. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, Beast is in the eye of the beheader

4. It's always darkest before the dawn, it's even darker when Batman knocks you out

5. It takes two to lie — one to lie and one to provide an alibi

6. Two things prolong your life: A quiet heart and a loving wife. Two things shorten your life: A hole in the heart and a roving wife

7. There is a thin line between love and hate, It's the same line you sign on the divorce papers

8. Give credit where credit is due. Give debit when credit card is due.

9. Behind every successful man there's a woman, and behind every unsuccessful man there's 2.. or more

10. A jack of all trades is master of none. A jackass of all trades is disaster for eBay

Goodbye FM 2009

2009-08-12T08:49:00.005+08:00

One year, 5 bum-ass teams turned world beaters, dozens of trophies won, and tonnes' of "money" made for the clubs. The game's lifespan is coming to an end with the new season coming. I've managed Reading, Leeds, Leicester, QPR, and so far my best team... Cadiz. Kinda hard to start with Cadiz when you have 0 transfer fee available and a negative in your wage budget.

Did the quadruple last season, 2nd time winning the Spanish League, 2nd time Spanish Cup in 3 years, first time Champions League, and first time Spanish Super Cup. Expecting 5 cups this season after already winning the SSC (2-2 away goal vs Sevilla) and European Super Cup (trashed Fiorentina 3-0). Now even Real Madrid have to bow down 3-0 from a Geoffrey Castillion hat-trick and Barca 3-0 from Perez Garcia's brace. The other Spanish teams? They can line up and get their ass whooped. So much for their fancy tactics of 1 striker against my same 4-4-2, dream on. My young regens

Defenders:

Found from Suwon (Korean league) and bought for 2m.

Used to be explosive until his injury. Worth 5.25m, his team got relegated.

Worth 8m actually, his team got relegated :P

This mofo take free kicks like Beckham did

Right back replacing Vanden Borre. 10m, expensive sial.
Another right-back. Daniel Opare WHO???

Midfielders:

I got him for free. Develped into a world-class mid now & the most expensive natural-priced player in the game right now. Even Fabregas & Torres each are only worth 35m.

Look at 2012/2013 awards. Tapau all. Who needs Mascio?

Blas' partner in crime. Not as good as Blas but random goal machine.

New right winger/striker to replace Bystrov soon

Strikers:

From free transfer to wonderkid to top scorer

This motherfucker better start banging in goals. I'm losing my patience with him.

About to start in senior team. Another free fella xD

Other senior players:

GK: Miguel Angel Moya (the best damn thing you can get after Igor Akinfeev)
DL: Uwa Echieljie (free transfer now worth 7.75m)
DC: Hamed Diomande (bought 45k now worth 7.5m after 6 seasons)
MR: Vladimir Bystrov (paid 2.5m compensation)
ML: Dmitri Torbinskiy (paid 2.2m compensation), Carlos Mena (bought 2.5m from Real)
MC: Moussa Sissoko (free transfer, 6m now), Drissa Diakite (bought 1m, worth 7m)
ST: Geoffrey Castillion (free from Ajax, 22 goals in 32 league games), Pedro Perez Garcia (bought 925k, now worth 11.25m wonderkid)

So far making a lot of money for Cadiz. Last season made about 50m for them and dreaming of having a 50m transfer budget to spend. Unfortunately they spend it on building a new stadium, the Raul Lopez Stadium (named after the longest-serving player) since the old one can only hold 25000 fans max. Easy way to earn money, grab free transfers sell them for high price xD. Game's inflation is crazy. Madrid signed Dos Santos for 60m WTF.

DSX Punked

2009-08-10T16:27:00.002+08:00

Acey :: หมัด เท้า เข่า ศอก says:
espanyol's captain died IRL u know ar?

[Ass-a-nation] YingYang - Redrum | zomgsssssssss says:
yeah, just saw it on lulyats

Acey :: หมัด เท้า เข่า ศอก says:
so many die young

[Ass-a-nation] YingYang - Redrum | zomgsssssssss says:
26 die, why ah, cardiac again?

Acey :: หมัด เท้า เข่า ศอก says:
yeah, same as that 22 yr old 2 years ago

Acey :: หมัด เท้า เข่า ศอก says:
eh no no

Acey :: หมัด เท้า เข่า ศอก says:
no no no

[Ass-a-nation] YingYang - Redrum | zomgsssssssss says:
then then?

Acey :: หมัด เท้า เข่า ศอก says:
not cardiac

Acey :: หมัด เท้า เข่า ศอก says:
TUPAC SHOT HIM WITH HIS FOH FOH, MOTHERFUCKER... WEST SIDE!!!!!!!

Lulz. Ying Yang kena punked.

Rest In Peace, Dani Jarque

Jeng Jeng Jeng

2009-08-07T16:39:00.003+08:00

Tenet tenet.. tenet tenet.. jeng jeng jeng

Time to totally kick ass... Or get my ass kicked

2009-08-04T22:17:00.002+08:00

Haven't played this song for ages. Been 12 years since Biggie's death.

Rest In Peace Biggie & Tupac.

Faceless Pipol Attack!!!

2009-07-31T09:50:00.004+08:00

Si liao si liao, my creation came to life and attacked my office.
Kuching, we have a problem...
bzzt.. bzzzzzt...
*static*

"Nyehehehe... I'm coming out"

Ow Lawd, them come out from the whiteboard

"Wrong side, team"

* CUES MISSION IMPOSSIBLE THEME SONG *

Wrong machine la sohai..

"Tom Kurus was ere"

Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) was here too

No climbing Arthur's table please...

Bungee jumping in the office is dangerous, FP

*SNAP* "AHHHHHHHH"

Told you...

Project M2 (previously Project Matriarch)

Bird Day

2009-07-29T14:50:00.001+08:00

Todei is my bird dei, but still have to work la dey.

Sien.

This is why BOSS stands for

Birthday Oso Should Suffer.

JKR = Jangan Kerja Rajin

2009-07-24T12:58:00.002+08:00

Diu lah, start work already. Everynight KO at 9pm cos too tired. Selling ultrasound scanning machines, come la buy from me put at home scan for fun. Cheapest RM28,000 only. Currently in Kuching, which is very boring. I mean...

What the fuck is there to see in Spring?

So I went back to modding. Project M2 is on the way and near completion. Besides that just rolling around on the sofa after taking stacks of DVD from my brother in law + Heineken + smokes. Now... all about waking up early, getting stuck in jam (although not as bad as KL), and scan myself here and there with the machines.

Should be back in KL for holideis end of this year, probably a week plus.

That's all for now. Mentally-jammed in office.

Contender Asia II

2009-05-11T10:00:00.003+08:00

Really wanna watch Contender Asia 2 live but then already moved back so that's kinda shitty right now. Still jobless and worse, 'internetless'. Looks like Bernard Radin's representing our country, on home turf. The list is kinda wow cos this is actually the first time I see "Hong Kong" listed.

Paulo Balicho (Switzerland)
Bernard Radin (Malaysia)
Rafi Zouhier (Spain)
Pak-Wing Heung (Hong Kong)
Jordan Watson (U.K.)
Eli Madigan (Australia)
Bakhulule Baai (Africa)
Marcus Oberg (Sweden)
Levin Artem (Russia)
Marco Piqué (Netherlands / Suriname)
Saro Presti (Italy)

To be confirmed
Khem Fairtex (Central Thailand)
Jesse Miles (Canada)
Singsiri Por Sirichai (South Thailand)

If there ain't any Thais in a Muay Thai tournament, it isn't complete isn't it? I'm out of everything right now, the highlight one is that I'm out of a gym to train. So just limiting myself to push ups, sit ups, squats, skipping, and weights. Freakin hate this place if you ask me. Meh.

Watched half of The Contender Season 4 (pure boxing). Just browsed the result and as predicted the finals are between Troy Ross and Hino Ehikhamenor with Troy Ross winning (as expected). Olympian and after knocking out Felix Cora Jr. and Lawrence Tauasa within 2 rounds each, there's little doubt Troy is the man to beat in the tourney. Too bad I didn't download the first semi match between Troy and Akinyemi Laleye, two slick fighters.

Hiatus

2009-04-05T03:15:00.002+08:00

8 hours before my flight. Surprisingly, I don't have any heavy feelings in me about leaving this place after 9.5 years. 3 years ago when I had to move to Cyberjaya for the first job, I hated the thoughts of leaving Subang and the old life behind, friends, activities. Now, I have to admit I don't really wonder 'when will I see them again?', not for the past few nights not even tonight. Something in me tells me it will be soon. I don't miss a single thing at all. Heck knows what went haywire in me lately, it seems like I'm done with everything here (except you people of course).

I feel really lost after being out of job for a year. Today while having lunch with Anna & Rod, Anna asked me what do I think of / how do I view life as. The honest answer came out from my mouth; I have no idea. Ask me that a year or two ago, I'll have a definite answer. Sure, I did a lot of things that I never did before especially Muay Thai that tops the list after delaying for about 7-8 years. What's more important is during this one year, I get to ponder and change a lot of views on a lot of things. Religions, the rat race, money vs time, living, friends, family, and myself.

Moolah. Yes, we all need money badly at times, we need money to survive. But I no longer view myself as being neccessarily and solely living just to be a money-drone. Observing people who are close to me and who I've known for years, I see them work their asses off. For? Paying off their bank loans. Yeah, grand car, big house, but meaningless life. I'd rather settle for medium car, medium house, meaningful life. Call it unambitious or whatever, its how I perceive things as it is right now.

Friends. A lot stood by me during hard times, offering help and stuffs. Probably just to have me linger longer at this place hahahaha. Its not hard for us to warm up to new people, but its hard to find trustworthy ones. I'm lucky in this sector. Very lucky indeed. Some friends still remember who I am, what I am, and turn up to have a farewell lunch/dinner/supper with me with just a text although we haven't kept in touch for years. I can say that those I kept close to myself are not using me and are sincere friends. If you've known me long enough ask yourself what can they use me for? Money? I got none all the way. Talent? If that includes designing name cards that is as simple as breathing, you can chalk it off. Other benefits? None either, except I'll make you laugh that's all. Though I don't get to see a lot of people due to time and transportation restriction, I'm still happy I meet up with a couple of familiar faces within the last 2-3 days. Anna, Rod, Jen Ai, Teck Weng, Cathy, Yap, Jake, David, Tuck Mun, Chris, Han, Jun, Jason etc.

Family. I don't know, I'm still at lost with this issue. One nags because she thinks you're 6 years old instead of 26, the other thinks he's Mr. Right all the time. No one will loath going back to their own home more than me because of this. Like I told some of you; even before I get into a muay thai boxing ring, I will get my first KO from being nagged. They just don't trust me, simple as that. It pisses me off a lot as well when they start being negative about the things I do or wanna do and starts comparing. What, do they really expect people in this century to really go ahead with the advice "study hard, get a good job, work hard, have a family, retire"? Or do they forget to mention the very last one? "Die and rot?". I'll just be back home for a week before shifting to Kuching to stay with my sis, who herself is having shit loads of problems as well. Not to mention how my presence will affect her life.

Career. Whatever man, not giving 2 pieces of rat's ass about it. Gimme an offer and I'll take it for the mean time. Of course I am still thinking of doing Muay Thai full time. The problem is finding a source that can/will fork out 3 to 4 grand a month for training, accomodation and food in Thailand. And stop asking me if I'm not afraid of being kicked/punched/elbowed/kneed. Its as stupid as asking me if it hurts when I get my tatts. OF COURSE! Internal injuries, serious life threatening injuries? Hello? I fully understand the risks and dangers of contact sports especially fighting, but when you love something that much, you naturally accept it as 'part of the job'. Not that hard to imbue that line in me. For maybe a year or so I'll glue my ass to an office chair, pretending my future boss is the best thing since Wikipedia, my future job is as awesome as Hugh Heffner's, and as if my then-pay can bribe the whole parliament. Once I get the money I need to test myself out in Thailand, I'll bail. On the next flight out to Sinbi's a.s.a.p.

Andrea. Where should I start on this one? You'd be surprised if you do a search and see I still write about her a couple of times after 5 years. I don't regret my actions cos I know I'll learn if it leads to something bad. Too headstrong you see. I admit I regret calling it off. I regret not keeping my words to you. I wish I can see you one time before my flight although I know it won't happen. Its not easy at all to find someone to replace you, and what you can make me feel. Its pretty damn near impossible. 5 years and none fits your shoes. I don't know where you are right now, and Ee Leng will not be able to make you talk to me again. Probably its the right time for me to let it all go. The stuffs you wrote and the things you gave, I'll still keep them. But it won't be easy to forget you especially when I really am thinking of you at times. Goodbye, Andrea Yeo. You can easily find someone better than me, and just know that its not the same case on my side.

Its really a confusing time for me. A testing time and when I should dig deep and probably do some soul-searching (takes a mirror and starts talking to ownself). Out of a Muay Thai gym to train back in Sarawak, I don't know if I can even tame the temper before I break something on the wall. So now, I really can't live in denial and willingly accept the fact that I'm disillusioned with life. But I'll be fine. I won't turn emo overnight and start cutting myself after putting on eye shadow and black lipstick. That will be people I'd love to tie up their wrists, hang them hands up on a hook, and use them as a punching bag for practise.

I'll be just fine. So I feel. The conversation I had with Anna during high tea and then along with Rod during lunch changed something in me, one way or another. Only time will tell. For now, I'm signing out till I also don't know when. I don't wanna burden anyone with internet bills while I'm still "bumming". Not to mention, being in a crowded place, e.g. cyber cafe, is something I hate the most. And no, I don't need drugs to make me a screwed up person. Drugs.. pfft, only for weaklings who don't have the ability to screw themselves up naturally.

Till then... F you, its magic.

Bye

2009-04-01T00:47:00.001+08:00

Today will be teh last day online for a while. IDK when I'll get back online again. I'll still be in Subang and probably crashing over at Chris' place at Puchong till Sunday. Anything you can reach me by phone. Buh bye.

Spam Fever

2009-03-31T00:48:00.008+08:00

March 31st. The date I officially hijacked Real World Issues in Lowyat.net and spammed 20 topics. Guess what, the lazy mods took more than 20 minutes before I get the ban I'm waiting for, and only suspended for a month. Waffak. What I posted:

And then it spreadddddd... wideeee

What I get:

A parting gift for the lulz of /k/

Edit: Its a permaban now. They need 6 minutes to make up their mind. LOL. Success!

9-10 other posters in my "Should I Spam RWI?" poll got 3-4 days' vacashyun as well *whistles*

FUCK YOU, ITS MAGIC!

One More Week

2009-03-24T20:37:00.003+08:00

The forwarder's guy came to get the car 5 minutes ago. Car should reach Kuching by next monday, which is about 3 days' ship route (container leaving on Friday). That means a week plus without car here. Meh, normal food are like 10 minutes' walk away and I don't really fancy walking under the sun in between 12pm to 2pm. Already tanned enough coming back from Thailand that people mistook me for a Malay. Spend somemore time under our "skin-friendly" Malaysia sun, I might end up looking like a smaller version of this guy:

Goh Kah Gin @ Ng Kok Chin @ Woo Mao Chien

Most stuffs are not packed yet. Only PC disassembled and reassembled without a case. Stuffed 2 boxes containing some old non-important stuff in the car along with Paperazzi. Either one of the two boxes go missing, I don't really mind, but not my July Mod of The Month case. I figure it might be more or less another week before I leave this place. It will be really hard, no doubt it will be starting all over again cos besides my cousin's son, my sister and her inlaws, and aunt's family, I don't know anyone in Kuching at all. Not to mention I don't know my way around there as well.

Pussehhhhh

All my life I hate to even think of staying in apartments/condos/flats (you can't afford a house the size of my parents' house if you're in KL) but now moving back I have to stay with the sister in her new apartment. Damn. Imagine the neighbour closing the door tad too hard in the morning, I might have to wake up as well. No internuts for me as I don't wanna bother her since she's fucken busy with her work nowadays. Worst, I doubt there's any Muay Thai gym in Kuching. After training for the past 2 months, its kinda hard to stop for more than a week and not kicking/punching stuffs.

Yam senggggggg

No car, don't know what to do. But this week will be yum cha week, so I get to see more or less everyone I've known for years before I leave. People from college, Tattoo Family guys and girls, Chris & Han, etc etc, and those shop owners that I've frequented for the past 9 years. So, if I don't really text/msn/call you up, oh well, that shows how significant you are. For one whole year, I've seen and rethink about a lot of stuffs, and did a lot of hobby/activities that I've always wanted to start. So far what happened:

- Left CIMB end of April 2008, rejected my first offer from Stand Chart (hmph lansi)

- Helped Chris out at his PC shop for a month doing accounts (most of the time playing FB poker)

- Started and finished Paperazzi, the keyboard, mouse and speaker mod

- Helped Chris again with his MAS data transfer project. Get to take a look inside MAS' Subang airport, the hangar, different departments. Like damn rilek only they work there.

- Went to Thailand for Muay Thai at Sinbi's for a week. Got to know a lot of new and interesting people from all around the globe.

- Came back and continued training at Jakk Othman's. Get to see the difference between Thai fighters' down-to-earth attitude and Malaysian wannabes' I-am-the-best-although-I-just-started attitude.

Zzzzzz. Time to go get some food, skipped training today just to wait for Nazim to come get the car. And then more games to play, tomorrow, back to same ol' life; training.

Trees, Motherfucker!

2009-03-16T13:10:00.005+08:00

Most of the mornings I'll be at Subang Lake, hoping to run as far as Dee can (10km), work on my cardio and stamina. So far so bad, 1 month into off-on running, can only do 3km max before coming to a halt (its 1.4km around the lake). By now, I am familiar with the faces around there. The gold hair uncle and his 2 friends, 'Chunky' the Malay uncle, the crazy Indian dude who run I-totally-lost-count laps, the 2 aunties who gossip and complain about everything everywhere everyhow whenever I run past them, and a fat fella who just listen to the mp3 and walking around. That's not gonna help your flabby every-joint, fat ass.

Subang Lake. Yes that's Sauron's tower rebuilt.

Very nice hor the view above? Wait till you run one round, then another. And you'd wish you can throw up on the spot. Firstly, no MILFs (if thats what on your mind) only old aunties. And then, TREES, MOTHERFUCKER! When you look in front its the rough concrete, left and right, trees after trees after motherfucking trees. THE HORROR THE HORROR. Sometimes there will be something BIG splashing in the lake, I don't know what's that, only saw the splash and huge ripples on the water surface. Finally there's a bunch of Pakatan Orang Tua doing Tai Chi there with the ngi-ngi-ngo-ngo sound from the radio.

Fucken bugs

If you're going to run there, let's just say 6-7am is not a good time to start. Before the sun really breaks through the clouds, there are a lot... I repeat, a-motherfucking-shit-loads-type-of a lot little white bastards flying/buzzing in circles on the running path. I went and goes BAM, a faceful of bugs for you, thank you very much. And then that disturbed my breathing while I run. KNN. When the sun comes up a little bit, these little fuckers will go hide and play their chase-my-ass-in-circles somewhere darker.

Oh hi there!

3km nia. Le sigh, that's 1/3 of what Muay Thai fighters run daily. If weather's not so grumpy later at about 5pm I'll probably head there for another 3. Never see who runs there at noon. Maybe some MILFs for me to wash my eyes instead of trees, trees, trees, motherfucking trees again. Yeah, I still get stares, especially my legs, maybe they're thinking "Waffak is this VCD seller doing here running around?"

Same ol' same ol'...

Same ol' problems
Same ol' days
Same ol' story
Same ol' game
Same ol' hustles
The same ol' way
Same ol' situation
Same ol' days

Faceless Muay Thai

2009-03-11T12:28:00.004+08:00

This is the fight stance

This is an uppercut

This is a front kick

This is a.. um.. kick

This is a roundhouse kick

This is a low kick

This is knee to the face

This is an elbow

This is also an elbow

If you kena tapau in fights, don't blame me, blame your skills paria lah.

More Mor Mo

2009-03-09T05:31:00.004+08:00

Duduman Became Tutuman

2009-02-28T00:41:00.003+08:00

Leng em leng ah?

Soooo flexible

Ahhh, my toes!

For more info on your ballerina, s/he's available at www.speakingtomato.com

So You Want Traffic?

2009-02-26T18:07:00.001+08:00

So many of you guys want more traffic right?

OK lor, I'll give you more traffic than you can imagine.

Ip Man Loves Mariah Carey

2009-02-23T22:52:00.002+08:00

Ip Man Buy Ramly Burger

2009-02-22T22:16:00.004+08:00

Out topic: Grats to A.J. Bangla Stadium WPMO champ as on Friday night. 4th round KO win.

New Gym

2009-02-18T21:44:00.002+08:00

Started training at the new gym, Jak Othman's gym. Yesterday when I sit there and observe, it looks really boring. Today there are much more people for the first session and this trainer, Ken, leads the thing. Not a bad trainer I'd say (sorry but after experiencing real Thai training kinda compare everything). It won't prep you for fighting I might say, but maybe for starters just work on conditioning and stamina.

Warm up:
Things are a lot different than what I expect. Stretching is done in pairs. With a back as stiff as Tommy Lee on his first night with Pamela Anderson, there's always problem for me to bend forward with my legs stretched while sitting. Ken helped a lot by holding the legs down and pulling my arms forward, not so bad afterall. And sitting cross-legged with sole-to-sole he helped again pressing both legs down and me forward.

Arms:
1-2, 4-1, 1-2 hook cross, cross-hook-uppercut, repeating 1-2 for 8 times, and 32 1-2s in a row. I need that for conditioning.

Kicks:
Single kick followed by double kicks and then 10 in a row. Did about 40 kicks on my right, including on bags before starting, and 30 on the left (skipped 10 due to waist problem).

Knee:
Starts with single knee. Then double knee. Kinda losing balance after not training for a week but it got a ok after a while.

Teep:
Starts with single left teep, then right. After that two kicks, left then right (something like what Buakaw always do during his fights). Aim is still pretty bad, meh.

Chin down:
Place a tennis ball between chin and upper chest and hold it with chin down while repeating the arms conditioning/combo. Kinda hard for me, the ball keep on dropping as the gap between my chin and upper chest is big. And now it kinda sting, well, tennis balls, they're rough surfaced.

Sit up, chest up, and leg up:
Sit up 25 times for 3 rounds in pairs. Lol I only did 2 rounds. Chest up is easier. Leg up is hard, feels like my muscle's going to cramp soon.

Warm down:
Some thingamajig movements and that's it for 1 session.

Well its much better than what I saw yesterday. But I hate the tennis ball thing. Did 100 knees on the bag before starting. Probably do the 1 minute punching and 100 teep tomorrow.

Some More Pixies

2009-02-18T00:51:00.006+08:00

Some photos flicked from them Facebook uploads.

Sunday: Dane, Lanny, Nims, Nicola, Anna killing an apple

Saturday: Nims, Met, Me, AJ

The conditioning session I dislike the most

Nicola, before losing her top xD

Dean. Look at the bag where the knee hits!

AJ & Nat (Pot's son, I think)

L-R seated: Nicola, Martin, Nims, AJ, Anne, Dane
L-R standing: Lanny, Jesper, Ola, Me

Lanny, Dane, Martin

Lanny with a teep on Det

Clinching with Sitrak (foot on wrong position :P)

Anna's suicide LOL

Target

2009-02-12T21:21:00.004+08:00

Hate sitting at home cos its really boring and I wanna do what I did at Sinbi's everyday. The PC is a main distraction and take a lot of discipline to pry myself away from it. So far so good in doing that today considering I can't get into Facebook since 5pm. But YouTube is really addictive. Watching it until stupid for the past 3 days, especially Ramon Dekkers' matches during his prime. Still doing 2 warm ups and shadow boxing everyday but only for 30 minutes each. So.. I've been doing stuffs in my room to make sure my experience and hard work at Sinbi's didn't go down the drain. What is currently do-able in the room:

Warm up: 10 minutes
Stretches and stuffs (neck, arms, legs, waist, back) as how they do it back there. Make sure the joints are good to launch proper moves. Sweat level is ok and notice sweat much easier than before lately. Good or bad? IDK.

Shadow boxing: 30 minutes

Take the full length mirror and clear a space. Mostly doing repeated stuffs/combos taught by Bawi (3 padwork sessions in a row with him) and checking the mirror to adapt to the techniques taught by Met. Work on 1-2, 4-1, 1-2-left hook-right punch, 1-2-hook-kidney-kidney-uppercut, elbows (left, right, vertical, downwards, spinning/reverse), kneeing, kicks (doesn't really work well when there's no sandbags or pads), front kick/teep, lean back. Intense sweat and kinda tiring cos I throw everything in full strength. Target within this month is a 45 minutes session of shadow boxing alone at full strength punches/kicks. But yeah, pretty boring doing this alone.

Something like this

Knees: 100 times

Grab the full length mirror (rotatable) on top with both arms and starts kneeing (no contact with the steel bars lah, wanna die meh?) to work on my thighs and stamina. 100 times is easier now after a week. Trying to get it up to 150 times on next work out. Max target would be like John Wayne Parr's 1000 knees on sandbag in 30 minutes. That's crazy. Thighs are still ok after this, not really sore from 100 knees cos not having any impact or force since there's no sandbag.. Meh... Wanna try out another jumping knee. Only did it once while sparring with Bawi on my final session. Fun. Like Remy Bonjasky lol.

John Wayne Parr

Blocks: 50 each leg
Doing what Met asked us to do on my FIRST session. Almost tumbled by the end of it on the first day. Hard on the thighs by the 40th still keep going. By the end of both legs they're really sore but moving around for a while its back to ok. By end of month target would be 100 blocks on each leg, without feeling ultra-sore on the thigh after that.

What I was taught by Met was a bit more to the side

Teep: 100 times
Kicking the wall is not as fun as a sandbag. When sandbag moves back its force meet force case and it tires the legs easier. Try to emulate that by bouncing my sole off the wall with strength, letting the other leg take the pressure of trying to maintain the posture or take a step back. Maybe should up it to 200 times. No sandbag is no fun.

Yodsaengklai Fairtex - front kick/teep

Punching: 2 minutes

Read Ramon Dekkers' interview and mentioned if you can do 100 punches in 2 minutes then throwing 10 punches in 2 minutes wouldn't be a problem. And its good for conditioning. IDK if he means 100 full strengths or not. Since no sandbag, without full strength but repeated non-stop punches, I punch.... the wall. Yep, the wall. Left index finger's first joint below the knuckle bleed, sometimes. Still without a bag, its kinda worthless, I don't feel the sore in upper arm/shoulder like before. When I hit the gym next month probably try 2 minutes non-stop, break, and then another 2 minutes.

Ramon Dekkers

Sit ups & push ups

Can't do much push ups these few days, max 20 due to the problem with the right upper arm (twitching). Can finally do proper push ups. Sit ups, about 15-20 depending on mood. Yeah, not disciplined enough lol without Karim eyeing if I "snake" during sit ups.

Still can't throw a proper hook with my right. Something's twitching in the right upper arm, hopefully nothing's wrong. Not very happy I don't get to do real training. Time to find money.

4

2009-02-11T20:08:00.002+08:00

Four of my favorite fighters so far. 2 from Holland and 2 from Thailand. All amazing in their own ways.

Remy Bonjasky

IDK, I just love to watch Bob Sapp gets owned. LOL.

Buakaw Por-Pramuk

If he knees me, I think my heart and intestines will trade places.

Ramon Dekkers

Crazy.. just plain ol' crazy.

Last but not least...
Sing @ Sinbi Taewoong

The kicks got me to his gym, without double-thinking

6 Days At Sinbi's

2009-02-09T14:41:00.013+08:00

I hate coming back. Noisy place and nothing to do. Unlike in Phuket, quiet place with a lot to do especially training. And I had fun although its a "vacation" with bruised knees, bruised and scrapped right elbow, and finally a tipped toe nail (urgh). This gonna be a long post. Here are how the 6 days go, and if some of you horny people like gwai lous, yeah you can salivate over their pictures:

Day 1 - February 3 (Tues)

Sinbi's camp entrance

Landed in Phuket at 7.10am (GMT +7). Cab driver needed to look at the address 5 times before eventually got to Sinbi's, and by then its about 10am. Freakin waste of time. Met Gob (Sing's sister) and then Sing before getting keys and pay the fees for training + accomodation. Total of 4800 Baht (about RM500) flew. Grabbed a pair of Muay Thai shorts for 700 Baht and wraps for 350 Baht. Yeah, getting piss poor upon arrival =/

Lanny (black shorts) and Martin

Met my 2 roommates, A.J. and Lanny both from Canada. Chat a little and went for the after-training breakfast at this restaurant everyone call "Cheap Ass". Really cheap. Chicken/pork rice is only at 30 Baht. Hanging around the ring at 3.45pm, didn't plan to train on that day as feeling tired. Only got an hour's sleep through the whole day. Sing just came and said "Training starts at 4". Oh shit. So changed and went there not knowing what to do.

Nims

Met (that's a name, not past tense of 'meet') asked me to skip and then they start warming up. This guy.. he's just scary. He trained Sing for about 15 years (what he said), rarely smile during sessions and got that imma-kick-you-till-you-gain-30kg-from-bruises look in his eyes. Even the warming up was killing me on the first session. After that comes shadow boxing where Met taught some techniques, which I feel its like taking forever while its only 30 minutes since we started.

Jasper and AJ

Managed to push myself through for 2 hours, gasping for air in between. The others train for 2.5 hours as they do clinching and sparring. Find working on the bags was fun. No pad-work with the trainers yet. Never sweated as much as this for the last 2 years. At night, well, Cheap Ass again for dinner. KO-ed very early at about 9pm.

Day 2 - February 4 (Weds)

Little Miss Sunshine; Nicola

Morning: Woke up feeling stiff all over my back so skipped the morning session. Walked around, breakfast at usual place, nap and get ready for noon session.

Not many people on first day

Noon: THE BEACH!!!! No, nothing like our coffee-colored Port Dickson. Pronthem Cape is the destination. Nice, quiet, windy place. The sun is not like what we get in Malaysia. At 10am, from my house to 7-11 which is about 5 minutes' walk, the sun stings badly. But in Phuket, its only mild but bright sun, along with the wind, its one hell of a rest at the beach. I rode what Anna called "The Thai Family" which is 3 person on a bike hahaha. Rode with Martin and Nims before Ola and Jasper, and Dane reached later. I don't know if Dane's bionic or what lol. He had a fight the night earlier (won on 3rd round with an elbow), and now he just pops up and jumps into the sea and swim. With all the very-crystal-clear-visible bruises on the shin and a knock on the forehead.

Pronthem Cape

Feel much prepared for training than the first session. Worked with Met during shadow boxing, then move on to the bags. I pretty much hate the repeating non-stop punches, cos I got no shoulder or upper arm strength and makes it hard to keep up. Looking forward to the kicking session (front kicks and normal kicks). While doing a right elbow on the bag, didn't notice a tape, and had a After the bags, worked with Karim on pads in the ring and get a lot of techniques corrected.

Bruised Lee

You want breaks? Yeah sure they'll give you a minute's break. But.... that's a big word... but before you do either 10 push-ups or sit-ups. And I'm pretty sure I fail both big time cos was already so out of breath by then lol.

Breaks? Yeah...

Day 3 - February 5 (Thur)

Bag works with Bang Den supervising

Morning: I hate sleeping. Really. All my joints feel stiff after waking up you just don't feel like getting out of the bed. And worse, I'm on the top bunk above Lanny. Got myself up, walks around to get the blood flowing and then starts to feel fine. So effin determined to do both sessions today. Only difference is I do pad-works with Sitrak (Karim's brother - I always have problem differentiating them when they're in the ring). Second injury, I overdid a spinning elbow, tad too fast, tad too much swing and my right elbow collided with Sitrak's. Bad bruise on it to go with the scrape. Finished, and then breakfast. I had 2 servings of Cheap Ass' chicken rice cos only had yoghurt before training.

Kay (Padaw) and Nims

Noon: Beach again. Napped, woke up with frozen body, walked around, starts training. Today is the first day I meet a trainer with no name on his shirt. I only found out he's Sing's elder brother, Bawi, on Saturday night during drinking session. Did pad-works with him, taught me a bit of ring ethics before starting like the bow and the alertness to avoid any immediate attacks after the bow. Still pretty slow in anticipating, so the pad got my head but not hard lol. Starting to enjoy the 10 kicks session a lot a lot a lot a lot really effin lot. After that, my first clinching lesson with Karim. I pretty much suck at clinching cos weak upper body and Karim's like throwing me around for fun, but I just refused to let my hands go and fall flat kekekeke.

Tradgarden: Swedish foooooooood

Night: Swedish meatballs (yeah, start drooling, go on, go on) at Tradgarden. Pretty effin good I'd say, I can't remember the price but I think its about 200-250 Baht? 6 meatballs and a huge splat of mashed potato with lingonberry sauce. I assume, if I remember correctly, I have been drinking a small Chang every morning and night since yesterday. Then after that was pool time with Nims, Martin, Dane, and Anna, just across the road.

Day 4 - February 6 (Fri)

Morning: Elbow was really bruised and can't even bend my right arm so skipped the session. And my back feels like somebody nailed a piece of board on it. Spent most of the time watching the guys & girls train and massaging my elbow... Snifffff.

Anna & Dane

Noon: Got back into training. Not gonna miss any more considering tomorrow (Sat) will be the last day of training and I'm leaving on Sunday midnight. Pad work with Bawi, and then clinching with Karim. During warming up, a couple of us noticed this new girl from Sweden. I think she mentioned her name as Jenny to Met. After 2 rounds of shadow boxing she was sitting at ring side and we never see her again =( mehhhhh. Went to the beach again where Dane and Anna went kayak-ing. Nothing better than sitting under the shade on a windy afternoon with a bottle of beer in hand.

Met (half hidden), AJ, skinny chink *cough*, Tord, Martin

Night: Some of the guys went for the fight in Patong. I don't know the Sinbi fighters that are getting into the ring that night, Misha from Ukraine and Nathalie from.. um.. Sweden? When they got back the next day I heard it was crappy.

Day 5 - February 7 (Sat)

Sat nite drinkin: Kay, Anna, Dane

Morning: The day everyone looks forward to cos its the last day of training. Dragged my ass to the training area. Noticed sweating a lot more than previous sessions. Miskicked the arm pads while working on it with Bawi and left ankle feels weird. Went to the beach with Dane, Anna (both went snorkelling), Martin, and Nims. Had my usual.. Chang beer.

Bruised Lee's brother, Bruised Knees from Republic of Wrong Technique

Noon: Things got worse for my last session. Another misplaced kick for my right during pad-works with Bawi and ankle starts to sting. Now that's both ankles altogether. When it finally comes to sparring with Bawi, I thought that's it, that's how my training and trip to Sinbi's gonna end. Not that lucky. Did a front kick, Bawi moved back, leg went straight and down. On the way down, my toe nail clipped either his glove or shin pad, and yeah, pretty much 1/4 of my right toe nail had an 'erection'. Stopped and get some alcohol on the wound. Taped.

@Don's: Anna, Nims, Kay, AJ, Jasper, Martin, Dane, Lanny

Night: Had dinner at Don's. Some of the guys had the buffet. The cook put that stinky green vege thingamajig in my food. Urgh. Almost everyone had a LARGE CHANG/TIGER that night. AJ.. well, he had milk. LOL. Got back to gym after we stopped at 7-11 and get some more beers (I got 2 more cans of Chang, cash running low) and sat together at the 2 tables near the training ground just chatting and chilling. Sing and Met came back and drank. A cab came to pick up some guys (Ola, Jasper, AJ, Nims, Martin) to.. I don't know, some bars. They went bar-hopping.

Forgot to tell Martin my phone's cam is also Cheap Ass

Before long, all beer dried up waiting to be turned into piss. Sing and Met went to get somemore beer and we ordered some. Before they get back (they went around looking for ice cubes to go with their Red Label) the remaining ones (Dane, Anna, Kay) all went to bed early and I still hang around. Well, the next day will be my last day so its kinda heavy to have to leave. They came back, drank with Sing & Met, chit chatted and found out about some pretty nice infos. Oh yeah, both of them tried to open the beer bottles differently, not gonna tell how LOL. By 1.30am starts to get a bit tipsy and had a good sleep.

Nims, Sing, skinny chink *whistles*, Met

Met, Sing (standing), Tord

Final Day - February 8 (Sun)

The dreaded day. Woke up and saw AJ on the bed (pic below). You just have that voice saying "he's drunk, really really drunk" from how he sleeps. So their outing was bar-hopping, got separated, AJ left at 6 or 7am, Martin "fell in love" lol, Nims' ithcy hands rang the bell that's used to signal that the bell-ringer will buy a round for everyone in the bar, the 2 Swedish brothers, I don't know.

I see drunk Canadian

Had breakfast in Tradgarden (Lanny, Nims, Martin, Dane, Anna). Head back, watch Lanny's House M.D. season 2. The rest of the guys went off for bungee jumping. Height's not my thing, and I'm pretty much going broke. Feel weird sitting around so went and do some light stuffs on the bags. The Swedish brothers woke up about 2pm and went lunch with them, Tradgarden again. Then the other guys came back. Night's coming, its getting pretty fucked up for my feelings cos I know I'm gonna leave in less than 6 hours.

Kay, Nims, Martin, Lanny, Anna, Dane

Somewhere to hide from the sun at Tradgarden

Packed my stuffs. Asked Met to book a cab for me. Lingered around and smoke, wishing I can be there longer than just 6-7 days. Night time and went for one last dinner in Rawai with Kay (trainers call her Padaw, cos she looks like a girl called Padaw from the opposite restaurant), and my roommates, Lanny & AJ. They both went to bed early so I went outside and Dean (huge Croatian) came by to use the WiFi. Showed me this video of Bruce Lee playing ping pong with nun-chuks. Fuckin A. Made my day. Then I showed him and the Korean guys (IDK their names, they hardly talk) Happy Tree Friends. Lmao, they love it.

Time to go home, skinny chink

Everyone went to sleep, I sat outside and some trainers came back. Chatted with Met until about 11.30pm. Then doing nothing and wait for the cab to come. I wish I don't have to go back for another 1 month, but money is a huge problem right now, and.... I still got a hamster and 2 fish to feed at home lol. Its hard to leave especially how people around you make you feel comfortable there, and you don't know when you might see them again.

All quiet

To the people I met over at the gym:

Nicola from the UK
Lanny, AJ, Nims from Canada
Dean from Croatia
Dane, Kay from Australia
Anna from NZ,
Martin from Scotland,
Tord from Norway,
Ola, Jasper from Sweden

Trainers that make me do just that one more push/sit up while I'm already flat-out:

Sing, Met, Karim, Sitrak, Bawi, Sak, Pot, and Det

Thank you because you guys/girls make the stay & training really fun, good luck to you guys especially AJ and Dee (Kimchi) on your upcoming fights, and hope I'll see you all again in the future. Well, I'll just go on Facebook now. Heh. If you guys are gonna do your visa runs within this month or next, hope you'll fly here. Grab a lunch or something but no Cheap Ass. =D

House got rad lights

Word of the week: Jandels (by Anna, meaning 'sandals' or 'flip flops')

I'm so gonna miss the "OOOOOOO-WEEEEEE!!!" from the trainers and the instructions... jab jab, 1-2 hook punch, 4-1, elbow, right elbow left elbow, uppercut, hook hook, knee, TEEEPPP TEEEEPP (front kick). Lol. I don't know, I think I'm addicted to it, probably till I get some shit kicked out of me. It struck 4pm and I automatically took out my wraps and put them on and doing warming up, shadow boxing, push ups and sit ups. Damn.

Story of Fail

2009-02-02T00:56:00.004+08:00

Haih, many fail la like this. Was walking down the aisle on the plane back to KL and spotted someone who look utterly similar like Alice. Especially her eyes. Took the seat one row next behind to her. Very curious about her name, don't know why but I suspect I watch too much Dexter before I go back for CNY. Keep on taking glances at her for a couple of times during the flight.

So once we landed, first thing, I called Khamlao @ Chris if he wanna yum cha. Fucker got sick. Then I saw the girl again, not that hard to remember how she looks like considering she looks a lot like my ex. Hah, I still remember what she wore; black/dark blue hoodie with number 86 on it, red shirt underneath the hoodie, jeans, and black something-i-donno-what-those-lady-shoes-are-called. So I pumped my lampas with hydrogen until big big and floating and walk over and asked her:

Me: Excuse me, may I know your name please?
Her: Um.. why?
Me: Just curious
Her: Mindy, yours?
Me: *most of you know my name lah*
Her: Have we met before?
Me: No, but you look like someone I know, and that's not a pick up line
Her: *laughs*

We talked for a while before I effed off to the washroom to ~~wank~~ take a leak. I thought after that gonna ask for her number or something. Bumped into Peter Nge, an ex schoolmate that I haven't met for 9 years. Talked on the phone with Kelvin (my tatt artist) and then chatted with Peter for quite sometime before I look around... diu lahhhhh, Mindy left.

Well, I guess I might bump into her around PJ area. And on the way back I figured out why nowadays when I look at a stranger who look familiar and got curious about the name, I blame Dexter for this habit. Cos in Season 3, Debra said 'I just want to put a face on this lady'.. it got to me like 'I just want to put a name on this face'.

Fail... next time, if you meet a lady in the plane or whateverlampa method of transportation, ignore any friends you see, ignore your luggage so you don't end up failing like this. OK time to go makan and sleep. Tomorrow I need to jog again, go out shop for some stuffs, and Tuesday I'm off to Phuket on a 7am flight.

Balik Kampung

2009-01-23T11:37:00.001+08:00

Babai. 1 week. No Internuts. Oh Lawd.

Dying

2009-01-21T08:48:00.004+08:00

If you don't see me online don't assume I'm dead. Will be back in Sibu between 23rd to 1st. But won't be long in Subang, only be here for a day to feed the hamster and fishes, check my mail for replies from job agencies and Symphony, before going off to Phuket early morning (7am flight) on the 3rd. What to do in Phuket? Muay Thai training camp.

No, you didn't hear me wrong. Muay Thai. I repeat, Muay Thai. Now I'll tell you a different thing that you'll think you read wrongly too...... I've been working out for the past 1 week. Yes, work out, not make out. Destination will be south Phuket, and from the airport I'll be heading straight to Sinbi Muay Thai Camp. I searched for training camps/gyms and although Tiger Muay Thai is reknowned, Sinbi's site gave the best and most complete information to clear my questions. The place is owned by 2005 KOMA champ Sinbi Taewoong @ Thopadak Wanchalerm (Thopadak = Fish spear) and he's one of the trainers there. Here's a video of him (fight parts starting after 1st min):

But why Sinbi's? Cos I got no martial arts background/history, so I really don't know what to expect from Muay Thai. And travelling alone, I have truckloads of questions on the hows, whos, wheres, whens, whats. Honestly (not carrying balls) so far this is the most informative website I ever came across. There are a couple of trainers there but I don't know who will train me, tho I've notified them that I'm not even half as fit as most trainees at the camp. Now I need to get my stamina back, noticed I lost a lot of speed, strength and stamina since I quit football due to the nerve problem on both legs.

Yesterday guess who joined me to run around the 1.4km stretch of Subang Lake? Sherry. Ya, big boobs Sherry. At 7am. Only managed a miserable run of 2 laps and I think 4 laps of walks for warm up and warm down. I'm very the pissed that my arms are still bitching from weights and push ups, that means I can't work them yesterday and today. Right now, I've just came back from the lake and today is a day of total fail lol. 3/4 lap and the late breakfast effect kicks in dammit. Had to stop. Probably tmrw I'll go eat at 5am let it digest for 2 hours before starting.

With only 13 days to go, I think there's a lot to do before I'm off to the camp. If you think I'm doing this from too much Ong Bak or Tom Yum Goong, now gimme 50 bucks. Cos I was supposed to learn MT together with Hong and his bunch back in 2001/2002 and that time the only Thai movie I've watched is Nang Nak. Just that at last minute all of them dropped the plan (WTF?). Since life is throwing a truckload of shit on me since last year's May, I'll just do the things I planned but didn't carry out during college days.

Names

2009-01-14T21:27:00.005+08:00

OK, here, we don't really have any impressive names unless if your ma and pa goes nuts and named you Tiu Nia Sing or Chow Chee Bai (in case if you're Indian, Kaninabu applies). Was reading Cracked.com's article of "9 Manliest Names In The World" and seriously, some people have names that can kick the combination of our Chinese, Malay AND Indian name's asses. Just mentioning their names is enough to give you an idea of Chuck Norris' foot on your surname's face. You can read them from the link, no point typing them out.

You know at times in Facebook you add people up just for the sake of some games so you'll have enough people with you to meet the requirement for the next level thing? I know Rachael's account is full of those (although its her mom who games, that's one awesome mom you got, Rach). I have one on my list who was on 'green mode' so I browsed her profile to see who that is. Some girl gamer that I added for some Blood-whatshitnot games few months back. Lo and behold...

Dude, if Cracked.com changed their 9 Manliest Names article to 10 Manliest Names, the guy she's dating will be in there, trust me. He brews Troy. You can be any of those 9 names on Cracked, be it Max Fightmaster or Lance Armstrong, your name doesn't brew one whole nation. Or Brad Pitt and Orlando Bloom. And there's only one effect you can get from drinking Troy Beer; you'll be standing outside whatever shithole you bought the beer from and shouting "HECTOR" non-stop until the shop owner comes out and dick slap you.

Not fair, Caucasians have bad ass names, we Chinese don't get them :( .. NEVERMIND, that gives me an idea. Tomorrow I'm gonna go and get my surname and chinese name changed. Instead of Tang Y.S it's gonna be..

Ta 7 Lei

Tuts My Barreh

2009-01-12T17:31:00.002+08:00

Fuckin A man. Koreans should stick to playing Starcraft, like, really. Abomination of Mariah Carey's Touch My Body. Its like you take that song, and you chuck it into Chernobyl and kaboom another nuclear plant.

I know you love my cock...

LOL Monday

2009-01-05T14:08:00.001+08:00

Aduih, I laugh until stomach pain. Translating cantonese to hokkien, but the problem is.... the translator don't really know much cantonese and simply translate.

MA SEONG KI LI JOR KONG AH!

YMCA? Y MCA?

2009-01-03T14:02:00.002+08:00

Ang Moh version = Original YMCA by Village People

Asian version = Young Men by Hard Gay Razor Ramon

Malaysian version = Why MCA?

Potong Stim

2009-01-01T04:10:00.003+08:00

So with nothing to do at 2.30pm, I texted a few victims to see where they are (were, by now) going for the countdown. Most of the numbers that I have in my sim card's phone book will usually use public holidays with "eve-eve sound" as a reason to drink and wake up to a hangover the next day. Out of 8 sms to different circle of friends, C came up with the best suggestion. Call came up almost immediately about 3pm:

C: Oi, tonight no place to go har?

Me: Don't know lah, just woke up text anyone see what's their plan.

C: We're going to Rockmount tonight. Wanna go?

Me: Where the fuck is that?

C: A pub near the old Bali there. Got a lot of different chicks there.

Me: OK ON. Call me tonight confirm what time you coming to fetch me.

Hell, you can't blame me. I wouldn't wanna celebrate the passing of the shittiest year in my life with all batangs or light sabres around the table. Not to mention I haven't found a new target since it ended with Rina. So went there to test water for my eyes see how good these "hostess" really are. When I reach there, I know the fucker has been a regular there. One Thai hostess, A, came up and hugged him, I think A has a crush on him cos she wasn't after his moolah or commission from bottles opened. I'm innocent here, I only shook hands with her and a couple more who stopped by while he introduced me to them.

Until this local chick, L, came by, sorta caught my eye for a moment. Cute, as in very, although there's another Thai chick but that one confirmed VIP reservation for our Mr. H lol, so no touchy touchy. What, you think I'm looking for girlfriend or future wife at place like that har? Go dai if you are thinking of that. It was ok at first until this one singer starts yelping with her Donald Duck voice into the mic, and the speakers are all around our place. Cheesus. After that, out of nowhere around 1am it turned into a feng tau haven. WTF. Potong stim. Nevertheless, we left.

Didn't get to say bye to L. Nevermind, with those bunch of frequent hum kar lings they sure will be there few days a week. And no, I tak kena jampi ok.

Happeh Fuckeh Neweth Yearth, mofos.

2008

2008-12-31T14:03:00.003+08:00

Dear 2008,

You have received 12 disciplinary notices within the past 12 months in conjunction with our conversations about your behavior and monthly performance. Unfortunately, I see no change in your performance. In this year you have fucked up more than 83 times and sucked on all months except July where your contribution won me Mod of The Month.

I rely on a year that is punctual and conscientious about attendance and deadlines. My clients will look elsewhere if I cannot offer them dependable service. You have demonstrated an unacceptable pattern of behavior. It is obvious you failed to follow what your senior, 2007, taught you. This is just like Pinocchio's nose failing to grow longer when he lie, or Andriy Shevchenko's performance when he was with Chelsea; a 30 million flop. Thus, we can no longer continue your employment. This decision is effective immediately. You will be paid 2 front pages of The Star newspaper dated 2nd July 2008 and 1st December 2008.

Our policy is to give only title of position and dates of employment to companies seeking references. You can be assured the details of this situation will remain strictly a company matter. We wish you the best in your future. Oh wait, you're going to expire in less than 10 hours. And I am pleased to inform you that your junior, Mr. 2009, will be replacing you with immediate effect. Now pack the rubbish you brought to the company for the past 12 months and fuck off. Just in case you just wake up while dozing off in your cubicle, this is a termination letter. Now wipe your saliva off the table and get out. Dettol and sponge is in the washroom.

Sincerely,
Acey

Asswipe...

2008-12-29T05:19:00.004+08:00

I wonder how big are the asses of MAS' staffs. Look at the size of their toilet paper.

Bet you can't finish using it even after 6 months of wiping your ass eh? Actually its for their hands after they finish tinkering with the plane's stuffs or moving the stocks in the store room. Come to think of it, Marcie Tan will probably finish using it in less than a week without fail. Since he's so full of shit. Kua kua kua...

A lot of things to do. Finally done with the MAS data transfer thing. Now I need to continue with Matriarch. Have a reputation to live up to, you know? And you can't just abandon a mod when people are watching.

HELP!

2008-12-26T02:57:00.002+08:00

I was sleeping and MSN went berserk with messages. Too lazy to check till late night and found out from Froop that Paperazzi is running for Mod of The Year 2008 on Bit Tech. There's 15 mods running, so its a major underdog in there. So I could use some help. Non-forummers can vote but you'll need to register.

How to vote:

1. Go to http://www.bit-tech.net

2. On the front page you'll see the Mod of The Year 2008 news
(http://www.bit-tech.net/modding/2008/12/24/bit-tech-mod-of-the-year-2008/1)

3. Click it, and intro for Paperazzi (my mod) will be on section 14

4. Or you can go immediately from the link "Sign Up To Vote"

5. Register your shits.

6. The email will be sent immediately and follow the link there

7. You'll need to vote for 3 mods, just make sure you tick mine LOL

8. And you stand a chance to win something as a voter

The prize pack is huge. I can use a new PC to replace this chugging AMD64 now. So, now, I need a big helping hand and if I do somehow miraculously win, I'll take it as a Christmas present lol.

HELP!!!!

Never Heard

2008-12-14T10:42:00.003+08:00

Songs we'll probably never hear in our life.

Korn - Another Prick In The Mall (Another Brick In The Wall)
Metallica - Pedo Of The Day (Hero Of The Day)
Metallica - In-Law Porn (Outlaw Torn)
The Offspring - Original Wankster (Original Prankster)
Prodigy - Stack My Dish Up (Smack My Bitch Up)
Puddle of Mudd - She Mates Me (She Hates Me)
Richard Marx - Right Here Wanking (Right Here Waiting)
Scorpions - Rock You Like A Horlick Can (Rock You Like A Hurricane)
Seether - Token (Broken)
Slipknot - House of The Faggots (Pulse of The Maggots)
Vertical Horizon - Best I Ever Bed (Best I Ever Had)
Aerosmith - I Don't Want To Piss A Fling (I Don't Want To Miss A Thing)
AFI - Girls Got Prey (Girl's Not Grey)
Avril Lavigne - Sot Sot (So Hot)
Avril Lavigne - Constipated (Complicated)
Beyond - Paralyze (Paradise)
Blink 182 - I Diss You (I Miss You)
Blink 182 - The Cock Show (The Rock Show)
Buckcherry - For The Woosies (For The Movies)
Crazy Town - Resolving Pores (Revolving Doors)
Eric Clapton - Bears In Heaven (Tears In Heaven)
Eric Clapton - My Father's Pies (My Father's Eyes)
Faith Hill - There You'll Pee (There You'll Be)
Fergie - Pig Furs Don't Fry (Big Girls Don't Cry)
Good Charlotte - Keep Your Pants Off, My Girl (Keep Your Hands Off My Girl)
Hoobastank - Prawling In The Park (Crawling In The Dark)
Hoobastank - The Peasant (The Reason)
Linkin Park - Somewhere I Lelong (Somewhere I Belong)
Jennifer Lopez - Let's Get Lewd (Let's Get Loud)
John Mayer - Your Todi Is Wonderland (Your Body Is Wonderland)
Kenny G - The Torment (The Moment)
Justin Timberlake - Fry Me A Beaver (Cry Me A River)
Celine Dion - My Fart Will Go On (My Heart Will Go On)
LeAnn Rimes - Wife Goes Off (Life Goes On)
Michelle Branch - You Pet Me (You Get Me)
Billy Myers - Miss The Train (Kiss The Rain)
Chamillionaire - MYDIN's Dirty (Ridin' Dirty)
Enrique Iglesias - Mai Lah, Boss (Bailamos)
The Bangles - Eternal Lame (Eternal Flame)
Killswitch Engage - The Fan of Buttache (The End of Heartache)
MLTR - Wake Me To Your Fart (Take Me To Your Heart)
Stevie Wonder - I Just Called To Say I Loath You
Christina Aguilera - Teenie In A Motel (Genie In A Bottle)
Britney Spears - Oops I Married Again
Rihanna - Ambik Lah (Umbrella)
Robbie Williams - Fatter Man (Better Man)
Rod Stewart - When I Kneed You (When I Need You)
Roxette - Listen To Your Fart (Listen To Your Heart)
Switchfoot - Dare You To Moon (Dare You To Move)
Tatu - All The Thongs She Wear (All The Things She Say)
Blink 182 - Feeling Tits (Feeling This)
Christina Aguilera - I Turn To Jew (I Turn To You)
Christina Aguilera - Cum All Over (Come On Over)
Michael Jackson - Beli Jin (Billie Jean)
Michael Jackson - Pedo Young Things (Pretty Young Things)
Michael Jackson - The Lad In My Ranch (The Lady In My Life)
Michael Jackson - I Just Can't Stop Luring Kids (I Just Can't Stop Loving You)
Michael Jackson - Don't Stop Till You Get Enough (Kids)
Michael Jackson - You Are Not Ah Long
Michael Jackson - The Lost Children (In My Bed)
Michael Jackson - I Can't Help It (Touching Them Kids)
Michael Jackson - Wanna Be Startin' Pedo'in (Wanna Be Startin' Somethin')
Michael Jackson - The Nose Is Mine
Michael Jackson - Another Part of Me (Fell Off My Face)

Andrea

2008-12-10T00:45:00.003+08:00

4th year of silence. When will we speak again? Remember when you made me promise we'll remain friends if it ended? I kept my promise and until I know what's the reason behind the silence. How are you as of late? I saw someone who is extremely similar to you in the train once and my heart almost popped out of my mouth. And I enlarged my balls just to walk over and ask her if she's you, cos I really hope she'll say yes. It was a no. Just to let you know that whenever I watch any movies with happy ending for the couples in them, its always you that come into my mind, no one else.

Yes, I still think of you quite often although there are others that come and go for the past few years. There are things I've opened my eyes and see more clearly as of late, and I have some to tell you. Until then I'll just keep it within myself. I admit its my ego that got in the way. I couldn't stand it everytime you complain about things I asked you to consider before we got together. And I admit I'm no good and I took more than I give in the relationship. Will I ever forget you? No. Not those time we spend together as well. 3 weeks short from your birthday, 3 weeks and 1 day short from mine. I'm not obsessed about thinking of you or making it a routine, but I feel you just deserve better back then.

Every year I'd hope my phone will ring and it'll be you on the other end. Never happened. Just know that I lost your number, and being bad with numbers I can't remember it or else I would've called way back ago. Some say I can't let go of the past while I deny it but you keep on coming back, but only in my head. Denial. Self denial. Honest truth is, I can't and still haven't. They always say the same thing. "There's always someone better". Bullshit. There isn't and hasn't been.

"I feel it on the inside
Twisting and contorting
Memory has shaped me once again
Still feel you on the inside
Biting through and stinging
Will I ever forget to remember?"

-Mudvayne: Forget To Remember-

Will I?

Tayed Tayed Tayed

2008-12-03T21:21:00.003+08:00

Blurghhh, been workin on data transfer and hardware stuffs for MAS' office in Subang and then probably Kelana Jaya and KLIA later into the month. Super tiring and some users (luckily not me kena) are really kek pan especially the two Chun kena today. Was laughing like shit when we listen to his story about that PC retard auntie when we got back to Chris' shop.

Probably no updates for a long time. Too lazy to exercise my brain anymore when I reach home after 9 hours of staring at the screen and doing domain, software (those cb software if you make 1 small mistake in installation, cannot pakai, have to reformat.. mcb), and moving hardwares I think if Maggie Q strip in front of me I also wave white flag.

What A Wonderful World

2008-11-29T06:19:00.006+08:00

The 4 Pukis of the world...

You mean wounded & infected leg or the real thing?

We look South to find Lampa, no need latitude longitude...

The only place where scolding someone's mother will be greeted with "YES YES YES!!!"...

If this dissertation is submitted in Malaysia, I pity the student...

This is called "Pimping on Ebay"...

An island full of ass and pussy...
*packs luggage and grabs passport*

What a wonderful world. Even Louis Armstrong is smiling.

Flak

2008-11-27T20:49:00.003+08:00

Something told by one of my teachers in secondary school. This will be a good lesson to those "Yes, Sir!" cows who are led by the nose by everyone around them. In one word, "spineless" people.

A young man was told how beautiful Pablo Picasso's artworks are and he never saw any before. So one day he headed off to the museum to check them out. Walking around, he starts admiring Picasso's artworks. Just like what he heard, he find all the artworks are beautiful. He stopped at every artwork and admire them for a long time. Finally he reached the last artwork (picture below). When he stopped at the last artwork, there was an old man looking at the artwork with a weird look on his face.

Young man: Very impressive artwork isn't it? They're all so beautiful and marvellous.

Old man: You call this beautiful and marvellous? It's not even nice.

Young man: What are you talking about? This is the work of Pablo Picasso, one of the greatest artist ever.

Old man: Ok. Are you married?

Young man: Yes, why do you ask?

Old man: So, tonight when you get home, your wife is waiting for you at the window. When she turns around she looks just exactly like this drawing, beautiful isn't she?

Reading FM09 Guide

2008-11-25T07:58:00.002+08:00

If you're playing Football Manager 2009 already, you're probably testing your Premier League team. As big as a Chelsea supporter I am, I don't play my team, I prefer teams with more target. The Coca Cola Championship precisely. This time my pick is Reading while in 08 my team was West Bromwich Albion (WBA) which is already back in the big show this season.

Starting benefits:
1. 5m transfer budget which is sufficient to revamp the whole team if you get the right player
2. Strongest pair of central defense in the championship - Andre Bikey & Khalifa Cisse
3. Good overall cover for 2nd string players
4. Superb captain in James Harper, on the central midfield
5. Reliable keeper in Marcus Hahnemann (if you don't wanna get any keeper)
6. You've got very-wanted players
7. Consistent strikers in Shane Long and Kevin Doyle

Selling:
Not many will sell because of their big player / major name mentality from playing in the premier league for too long. Players that you can sell to boost your transfer powah:

1. Leroy Lita for 1m
2. Gylfi Sigurdsson for 400k
3. Adam Federici for 800k
4. Sam Sodje for 300k
5. Bobby Convey for 2.2m
6. Michael Duberry for 500k
7. Ivar Ingimarsson for 1m
8. Liam Rosenior for 1.5m

Total income will be 7.7m although some will be pending on monthly installment. Of course you can sell for more especially Rosenior and Convey, I was more eager to push them out the door. Plus that with your 5m, now you have 12.7m to spend to revamp the whole team. Besides, you need to balance the wage budget for your new army.

Buying:
Don't go buying English players, cos you can't afford the good ones, and the ones you can afford are crap. Reading like any other team have 2 problems; right wing and right back. Opt for smaller nation's players although sometimes you can find a freak in Serie C2 of Italian league as well. Now you need 2 central defenders to cover if you set the DCs' tackles to "hard". Bikey and Cisse is very yellow-card prone and ban-prone. For central defenders I opt for:

Center Back
1. Hamed Diomande. Ivorian 20 years old for 350k, no work permit problem
2. Alexander Rajcevic. Slovenian 21 years old for 325k

For my left and problematic right back, I opt for good physical stats especially pace and acceleration. I brought in 4, with another on January window.

Full Backs
1. Peter Masilela. 23, South African for 525k. You're missing out big time if you play the Championship without him.
2. Vasco Regini. 18, Italian from Serie B for 400k.
3. Janvier Besala. 19, from Congo for 850k
4. Tumelo Nhlapo. 20, South African for 160k
5. Jair Iglesias, 27 Peruvian for free

Solved the defense problem, now move on to midfield. Most of the kids don't cut it, so cut them off. After hunting and testing, I stick to:

Central Midfielders
1. Mascio, 17 y/o Italian from Italian Serie C2. This kid is going to be a monster in 2 years, unbelievable stats. You can snitch him for about 100k or less.
2. James McCarthy, 17 y/o from Ireland for 1.6m. Tad expensive but worth it. Consider him a replacement for James Harper when you ship Harper out in January for 4m+.
3. Tinashe Nengomashe, 26 defensive midfielder from Zimbabwe for 550k. Awesome defensive, mental, and physical stats

I'll probably need another one or two but I'll wait till January window opens before hunting in lower leagues again. Now wings, I opt for medium speed and high technicals.

Wingers
1. Nicola Madonna, 21 y/o Italian for 600k from Serie B. Free kick specialist when Mascio is not playing.
2. Anderson Cueto, 18 y/o Peruvian for 250k on the left wing.
3. Jakub Mares, 21 y/o Czech for 650k as cover

Keep Stephen Hunt for now until January window, then ship him out and get a new left winger. Ahmed Samir Farag from Egpyt or Banahene from Ghana can be a good player in Championship. Now my favorite part, strikers. 3 new buys are all unknowns, but very effective so far irregardless what pair I play them in.

Strikers
1. Javier Acuna, 20 y/o from Paraguay for 950k. Expensive but worth it due to his silky runs and great physical stats.
2. Opoku Agyemang, 19 y/o from Ghana for 350k. His stats are deceiving. This is the all new Ruud Van Nistelrooy + Nicholas Anelka for the Coca Cola Championship. Very good timed runs for diving headers and poacher.
3. Denis Maccan, 24 y/o Italian from Serie B for 500k. Good technical and mental stats but consider a slow type of striker. Very deadly if someone like Doyle or Acuna can open up space for him.

Come January window, sell Harper for 4m plus, the 2 Hunts for a couple of millions, and some other fringe players to "fix" your financial status. That's all. More goodies soon.

Made In Where?

2008-11-22T01:43:00.010+08:00

If "Made In China" can pirate western artists like how they copycat the electronics/gadgets.

LeAnn Rimes

Nelly Furtado

James Morrison

The Prodigy

Motley Crue

Robbie Williams

Dr. Dre

Marilyn Manson

Akon

... and the schizophrenic one

50 Cent

So bored I'm listening to this for the 20th+ time tonight...

Are you fuckin happy now?

Long Dick - Benefits

2008-11-20T20:44:00.002+08:00

The benefits of having a super long dick.

Malaysian Acronyms

2008-11-19T22:34:00.004+08:00

JPJ - Jabatan Pencuci Jamban
DBKL - Dua Bangla Kena Lokap
MPSJ - Memang Pandai Sapu Jalan
PDRM - Pandai Dia Rasuah Mari
POLIS - Pasal Orang Lain Ia Sibuk / Professionals Only Like Issuing Summons
BOMBA - Bapa Orang Meraba Bontot Amoi
JAIS - Jangan Asyik Ingat Seks
JKR - Jabatan Kebas Ragut
EPF - Encik, Pinjam Fulus
KPWKM - Kami Pukul Wanita Kerana Marah
SIRIM - Saya Ingat Rambo Itu Melayu
PAS - Pastikan Anda Sexy
ISA - Ingin Sangat Anwar
FELDA - Father Engkau Lancapkan Dugong Aku
TUDM - They Unanimously Died Masturbating
MARA - Mak Awak Rogol Aku / Monkeys Are Rare Animals
MIC - Monkeys In Cage
MCA - Mou Chin Ah..
KASTAM - Kalau Aku Saman Tentu Ada Money
FINAS - Film Is Not Always Successful
IMR - Institut Mencipta Racun
DBP - David Beckham's Palace
SJMC - Saya Juga Mahu Cibai / Saya Jual Medical Cert
KTM - Keretapi Takde Masa
KBS - Kami Bukan Sportsmen
FAM - Football Akan Merana
KTKM - Kehabisan Tenaga Kerana Melancap
KESAS - Kereta Engkau Sekarang Ada Syaitan
LDP - Langgar Dengan Proton
IJN - Institut Jual Najis

Tulan

2008-11-17T15:27:00.003+08:00

7 deadly sins. Very interesting. We all have, the difference is just which "department" each person have more than the other. Let's see, out of the 7 (Vanity/Pride, Wrath, Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Envy) Wrath will probably be my worse trait. Wait, it is what I am born with (or inherited from the old man). You can't blame me when human being are just plain stupid. I'm not violent by nature, just very twisted. Now, the slightest thing that will tick me off (its far beyond "irritate") will be:

1. Drivers who take their own sweet time on the road. If you get rammed head on by a trailer I'll get down from my car to laugh at you first, take down your car plat number, and proceed to buy 4D.

2. People who make those chiap chiap chiap noise while eating. Parents never teach you table manner is it?

3. Egoistic people who brag about simple achievements (as in owning this & that stuff or kindergarten kid's abilities).

4. Body contact with anything that clutters my leg space. Short tables, stuffs on the floor.

5. Stupid, obvious, questions. "Does it (tattoo) hurt?" included.

6. Things that I construct fall apart halfway. Paper mache, furniture are two of the most
common.

7. Slipping chairs, even if I don't fall off it. They don't bounce so well off the wall.

8. Double parkers. Just itching for some paint stripper (read yesterday's post) on their fucking cars.

9. Kids crying. Whenever that happen, I just take a side panel and jigsaw into the washroom (since it echoes) and make the kid cry louder.

10. People who just walk so fucking slow. Waiting for reincarnation is it?

11. Technical glitches, pc crashing and lagging, slow-running programs. Or even mouse pointer getting in my way.

12. Bumping into edges of furniture or door knobs. Pain automatically signals anger.

13. People nagging. Mom's included. You'll get your share of "give and take".

14. Sitting at the same table as someone who boast like nobody knows its bull and cock. Too bad if I have to put you down in public, really loud.

15. People blocking my view especially at cinema or while watching football.

16. Fickle-minded people. You either decide early or you don't get what you want at all, period.

17. Stupid jokes. You wanna make a joke at me its fine, I can laugh at myself. But if you do it very poorly, you're in for something.

18. Stupid parents. You just don't bring your kids to smoking section of a restaurant, or let your kids play with near-empty spray cans, or put screwdrivers in their mouth you dumb cunts.

19. Spilling stuffs. This is beyond explanation. I need Mulder and Scully's help in debunking this.

20. People repeating themselves. We hear you correct in the first place. We ignore if it means nothing. Now shut the fuck up.

21. Dumb fucks kicking my chair in the cinema. Again, irritation is an understatement for this.

22. What's worse than being in a room with a dumbass? Being in a room with a smart ass. You only prove its empty up there when you open your mouth a lot.

23. Irritation to body parts especially throat and nose. Pisses me off to the point I feel like cutting them off or tearing them out if they are changeable like car spare parts.

24. Wrong number calls. If I tell you wrong number, fuck off, don't start double-asking or confirming the number again. I don't have time nor patience for stupid people.

25. People touching or shifting my stuffs. When I leave my things that way, I expect it to be THAT way when I need it, be it 5 months from now.

26. Emo faggots. You cut your arms so many times yet you don't dare to take that one decisive cut. Fucking waste of food source if you ask me.

27. Sick people. If you are sick, stay the fuck at home. Don't come out telling everyone how sick you are, and then pull a fuckface the whole day.

28. Not getting my stuffs in time. If you told me I'm gonna get it by tomorrow, it better be there tomorrow, not a day more.

29. Framing/blaming me on things I don't do. This will be the number one source. You don't wanna do that, like, really.

30. Talking religious to me. I'm a free thinker, I'm fine with what I believe in, don't try to change my mind because having faith in yourself can pull you through almost anything. Since you yourself started what got you knee deep in the shit.

That pretty much sums it all. There are more but less severe cases. Like what Jeff said "You can't kill some people just because its illegal". When that moment comes, you really can give a flying fuck to that line.

Ouch: Paint Stripper

2008-11-16T13:20:00.007+08:00

I'm having a new section (Ouch) entitled to chemicals and their stray-from-intended-purpose usages. Went to Pyramid to get something very useful for modding, and other mischievous purposes. Kids, this is a can of paint stripper. 1 liter for RM18.90, its a pretty good deal considering what we can use it for. Oh no, I don't plan to just "strip paint coatings" with it.

You know how cheap things are much much more hazardous and harmful to the human compared to more expensive ones. The expensive ones tend to be free of this and that chemical but cheap ones, they just chuck the motherload in as long as its very effective. Let's have a little show-and-tell on what it can do with just a little bit. First, the victim will be an old spare side panel that I grabbed from Chris' shop for spray paint testing.

Now with a brush, slowly transfer the sticky oily substance onto it. You wouldn't wanna pour it directly, the opening sucks and it tend to leak to the side.

With a medium coat, we wait. Not for long, not even a minute later the layer of paint starts to have nationwide erection.

Take a scrapper, scrap it off. There's 3 layers of paint here that I tested on; the beige (stubborn stock paint for the panel), black, and red oxide that I do some painting experiment on. In less than a minute.

Now you see what it can do on what we assume is its usage, it can pretty well do other stuffs. Chris didn't know such thing exists (wtf for a 31 year old guy???) and he asked me what it does. We had the same thing in mind, if someone offends us on the road and I got that thing in my hands, he's gonna have a chrome colored patch in less than 5 minutes. Well, its written on the can its for automotive paint as well, so too bad if you happen to irritate me on the road. Or I might just get its elder brother, aircraft paint stripper which is much stronger.

Nice eh for your car?

Secondly, I was in the side panel's shoes before. Once was a large smear near my right calf tattoo, the other was yesterday when it sprinkled across my thigh while I opened it. Boy, you don't want that on any part of you no? In less than 3 seconds it starts doing a KFC combo meal of burn-and-sting and I have to wash it off immediately (although I'm very interested to see what it can do to human skin).

So.. if you offend me, and are "smart" enough to tempt me to get out of the car, you'll be my first live experiment. I don't know what it'll do with large dose on long period unwashed. Don't worry I won't douse you with the whole can, just enough to cover your face and neck area. Can someone confirm whether it eats flesh? So I can use it sometimes.

I have patience for a lot of things but just not human and technical issues.

No Photo? No Problem.

2008-11-15T04:55:00.004+08:00

Sometimes when you go for interviews they'll ask you to bring 2 passport photos. I mean, come on, not that I'm 100% sure I'm gonna get the job, or worse, 100% sure I WANT the job. What do they need the photo for? You see me in real life when I walk in. WORSE, once they hire you they'll ask for another 2 photos for your employee ID card. What happened to the previous 2? Buried in between crossroad to make a deal with the devil under my alias along with that photostated copy of my IC and even my previous payslips? Usually I'm not really bothered with passport photos. Hey, not cheap ok and I don't really like taking photos alright?

So that day some lady call me to go for this bank's interview, they're setting up a new division. Feels like shit when you have to go back to the shitty brown colored building that you used to walk in for 10 months during your 2nd job. Its like a short introductory stuff but the hiring manager will decide you suit this blablabla department and then if there'll be a 2nd interview blablabla. They told me earlier in the email to bring 2 photos. Got none, not gonna get none. Off I went and fuckin A... there's a box on the form asking me to attach my fuckface on it. So fuck it...

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.
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Oh hi there! Is you Madonna?

Yes, I have a square face with a killer smile and the words "Attach Photograph Here" tattooed on my forehead. Now have a fuckin nice day and weekend... fuckfaces.

James @ War

2008-11-12T00:52:00.002+08:00

The new Weird Al Yankovic. This guy's a gem. Just watch these 2 videos.

Popstar (parody: Nickelback's Rockstar)

Blame Halo 3 (parody: Akon's Blame It On Me)

Ah Boy's Sex Lesson

2008-11-11T03:27:00.004+08:00

Was in Innit for a while yesterday night. Conversation somehow turned a bit to the senget side after a while. There was "facial protein treatment", slow and steady, forgotten one night stand, P.E (not Physical Education, its Permanent Erection), etc etc. Today I tell you about guy's sexual journey according to speed. Very simple, we use movies for example.

First, if you don't watch porn you memang abnormal for a guy. Its the "foundation" for the first time you know? If my future son don't watch porn I'll be scared. Scared his first time he don't even know he's poking at the girlfriend's belly button and keep on trying to get it in. Later charged for manslaughter how? You know those porn lah, all humping like rabbits one. Here is an introduction from a guy's first time until understanding the difference between sex and making love (at least this ability to create flowchart show I didn't waste my college fees).

OK. First time, noobs will skip the order of the movie a bit. Jump straight to the 2nd movie, 2 Fast 2 Furious. At this stage, they will blow either their gearbox or their engine before reaching the finishing line. Ah, something like the 20 Yatz Thunderbolt.

"Haven't finish already blow engine"

Next they will learn the history, they go and "buy the prequel". They start doing it The Fast and The Furious or FnF for short. Now, no more blown engine or gearbox or fried piston rings and manage to get to finishing line in very fast time. In between some nitrous are also injected to enhance speed.

With more experience, they start to be like the third movie, Tokyo Drift. In straight line they pick up speed but learn to slow down as well. Learn when to pull the handbrake and using the brakes at certain times, do fancy fancy drifts and not normal turns that make the girls go wow.

Finally when they finish all 3 movies and don't fancy racing anymore, they opt for a muscle car. Slow and steady or SnS. This final stage take very long at first, then halfway start picking up steam, reach destination safely, and the lady will heave a sigh of relief at the end of the safe journey. See ah, this is why Shar (Racoon) is correct when she said 'slow and steady win the race'. You all watched Nicholas Cage's Gone In 60 Seconds right? Then you know this Mustang below is called Eleanor. Mustangs are muscle cars, unlike Japanese tuners (Evo lah, RX8 lah, Supra lah, GTR-R34 lah).

See ah, guys who reach the SnS stage usually are like muscle cars more. They got not much pick up when starting, unlike tuners that can start off the race very fast. But halfway through a drag race, the muscle car got only 1 word to win a race: TORQUE. Like what my friend Kean Wee last time said "Mei kok che tou la mei kui geh torque tai lan yao lek jor pin tou joi dou?" or "American muscles when it reach quite far its torque is too powerful where can chase?".

But then, some people after they finish all 3 movies, they don't get to the SnS stage. They end up wanting more horsepower, more torque, more giant NOS tanks in their backseat. The girl end up a nympho and the guy a sex addict in simpler terms. That one, we'll refer to a new movie.

Racing for freedom with the aim to kill. Hai lat lorrrrrrrrrrr.

P/S: No, the blog owner never started with 2F2F and didn't blew his engine before reaching the finishing line.

Beh Tahan. Must LOL

2008-11-10T06:55:00.005+08:00

Walaneh. To hear yourself LOL-ing at 6am when its still dark is a bit weird you know. But what to do when something is so fucking stupid and funny. I was browsing Friendster to see which friends updated and I saw this ad on the side bar. It says "Keras Macam Besi" or "Hard As Steel".

I'm Iron Man

I sniggered at the thought of it. Iron dick imagine that, like taking 50 tablets of Viagra in one shot. Then I checked out the website. Lo and behold, the LOL overflowed the moment I click on the "Product" section. Firstly, virgin coconut hair tonic. WTF IS THAT? Something Kenny Sia used to enhance his pubic hair growth to the extent of Zohan's bush when he was still a virgin? Lmfao I cannot imagine, a 12 year old kid putting that on his Christmas wish-list and state "I want to be like Zohan, the girls love the cushion"

Now who wants some poontakhem?

Everything on the site is about virgin coconut. I have no fuckin idea what's a virgin coconut. Unplucked or something I presume. If there are virgin coconuts, then what are non-virgin coconuts? Womannuts or Mannuts? Or Prostinuts? Then I guess very old unopened coconuts should be tagged Nunnuts. Let me give you some examples of a coconut's description from its sex-life, you'll only see it here.

Amateur

MILF @ Stifler's Mom

Gone case

Finally, the Engrish is so fucking laughable at one of the product's page. "Neck husband device" LOL wtf is that? New scientific definition? I suppose they want a Nobel prize for that. "Peak until 3 times", wow, you have an android for a wife or something? Peak. I can only guess the conversation between the seller and his friend.

Seller: My wife last nite peak 5 times. Power, man.

Friend: How fast?

Seller: 0-100 km/h in 4.72 seconds

Friend: Wah lau so fast! 926 horsepower really helps lah.

Seller: Lucky I boost the nitrous also, or else she'll only peak 1.29 seconds later.

Friend: Fuhhhh, got blow gearbox or or not that fast?

Soon the whole world will be silky smooth

Mah chee bye, really beh tahan. I'm waiting. Waiting for them to post a fake testimonial with a pic of Rod Stewart having a 12 inch stiffy and an afro for pubic hair.

What Day Is It?

2008-11-09T02:41:00.002+08:00

I sat in front of the pc reading soccernet when I saw Arsenal 2-1 Man Utd. Then I thought "Shouldn't that match be on Saturday? Today's only Friday what". Moved my mouse cursor to the clock area of the start bar and found out its actually Sunday already. WTF. Lost all sense of time. I didn't even know or can recall what was the last 2 days.

The only thing I remember is I was working for 4 hours cutting the aluminium sheet (AluPanel) for Project Matriarch 3 days ago. Then the following day which was (I think) 2 days ago on Friday and worked only 1 hour cutting the panel. And yesterday which was a Saturday but I thought Friday, I worked 5 hours on the cuttings and then now woke up bloody confused.

I lost my sense of time.

Thunderbolt

2008-11-03T03:48:00.005+08:00

For those who watch football, you sure know what "thunderbolt" means right? For those who don't watch, it means a very strong long range kick. Usually the commentators or the report will read "This that player struck a 20-yard thunderbolt etc etc". Below is an example of a long shot or thunderbolt from Juliano Belletti, see his body you also know its a very jia lat kick. Hit your head can burst one u know? Big head or small "head" don't matter. The wind so strong until the Tottenham players also fly away.

Belletti

Now our Mr. Jenkin Yat also got his own version of thunderbolt. Imagine this happening in a club.

Yatz: I feel horny lah. Wanna bang a girl hard hard tonight.

Friend: There, that one look very horny.

Yatz: OK, I bring her home.

Then Yat go to talk to that horny slut, buy her a drink or two, then continue to take her to the nearby hotel. Since he wanna bang her hard hard kao kao jia lat jia lat...

Yatz: Be prepared for the 20 Yatz (yards) Thunderbolt !!!

Now imagine you're staying next to his room for that night.

Time of The Year

2008-11-02T04:47:00.004+08:00

Its time of the year again. November. Every year for the past 4 years I've been doing the same thing from November to February. Getting a new tattoo. I will trot to Sg. Wang (previously Spec Body Art when Kelvin was working there), get an outline session on November. Then I will come back on end of December or early January to get half of the tatt shaded. Finally 1 week before Chinese New Year it will be finished and I'll be limping and grinning like an idiot in the office.

Curi tulang while with CIMB

This year, sadly, don't have new skin to wear for 2009 Chinese New Year. Jobless, officially bankrupt as of now. Even if I get a job by this month (hopefully with AMEX) too tied up with my current mod (Project Matriarch) and estimated about 2.5k will be going to my spunking new quad core set up. I actually wanted a Cerberus/3-headed hell hound wrapping up my left thigh on May, but Kelvin was busy and after that I used up the cash. I'm leaving the empty spots behind both calves till I find a suitable design for them.

Before kena operate

I may go under the needle again, for the 5th consecutive year. He still owe me 20% of my left calf. The reaper's cloak is not fully done, the scythe totally untouched, and the hourglass as well. Meh, finishing an old job is not as "kick" as getting a new one. I expect to be fully covered on both legs, back, and sleeve one of my arms by the time I reach 30. Let me see if I can remember when I got each:

August 2004 - 21 years old, Aztec eagle from shoulder blade to shoulder blade, 3/4 back-length vertically. Done in bedroom. That's when I learnt how true Spec's line is: "Good tattoos ain't cheap, cheap tattoos ain't good"

August 2005 - Remember the bad haze time? Just knew Kelvin and went all the way to Segamat to visit him. Touched up my back for 4 hours (and saved it) at his home studio.

Touch up

November 2006 - Yuki (Kelvin's wife) found something that can actually cover half my chicken leg's calf. Thats when I got the Robin Hood-like skeleton hiding behind brick wall on my left calf. Finished a week before CNY 07

Right calf

November 2007 - Ripped something off the net. Its one of the rarest "handsome" grim reaper you can ever find. Only managed to finish the outline before CNY 08. My eldest niece, Zoe, told my sister "Uncle got drawing". LOL.

Left calf

November 2008 - Hope he's free one of these days

Here's a little video that I took myself on my old V3i while he worked on my left calf last year. Didn't feel anything, until the moment the needle says hi to the bone. Cheesus, it turned my bones into joint-vibrators.

Stim or not after watching it? My mom will go like this every year at the Sibu airport:

"AI SI LORRRR... KOO CHAK HWA????"

Matriarch

2008-10-30T16:42:00.001+08:00

It has started...

Projects

2008-10-26T01:56:00.003+08:00

Lately if I haven't been replying to your MSN messages and appeared to have poof-ed from chatboxes, well ~~this is~~ these are what I'm up to right now. I'm a very busy man lol. Even my middle finger is blistered from shredding paper.

PROJECT #1: FRANKENSTEIN

If you've watched Death Race that came out not long ago, you'll know who "Frankenstein" is. Its about prisoners racing in souped up cars, with armors and weapons. Just in case you haven't watch, here's an image of Frankenstein from the movie.

The last time I checked a gas mask, it costs RM280 for a lousy half-faced dual-chambered one at ACE Hardware in Sunway Pyramid. Fuck it, since I'm not one for stock items, imma build my own gas mask. Cheap ass RM8 Halloween mask from Carrefour kekekeke.

Just papered the front layer after some cuttings and tapings. Should be about 0.5mm to 1cm thick by the time its finished.

PROJECT #2: MATRIARCH

This project will be the biggest so far, comparing UV-CMA64 (fail: top panel gave way), American Apathy (fail: extremely scratched side paint job), and Paperazzi. That's right. I'm modding again after 1.5 months' rest. Took a break after Paperazzi to sort things in my head out. I have tons of images of what I wanna build. The bad part is to pick out the right ones, slowly piece them together like a 5000-piece jigsaw puzzle, and get one final image of the build.

I plugged it in. It ain't working. I was pissed off. Today, while I wanted to plug in another thing I noticed the main plug wasn't plugged. Ah crap. So I plugged in the main plug. Fuckin A, bitches. My dremel works again! Luckily I didn't go back to the hardware shop, beat the shit out of the shop owner for "killing" my precious tool, and then make an ass out of myself.

How they do business?

2008-10-24T21:10:00.004+08:00

Taken at Cafe Mamus (LG Subang Parade, exit via the donut place, I don't know what its called again). Obviously some itchy hands decided to add something onto the menu. Lol. Set cheaper than non-set bee hoon. Han saw it first, then me and Chris were laughing like mad and "Mahai, how they do business one?" when we saw it and the counter boy didn't even know about it.

Too bad didn't take a pic of this car I saw in Carrefour's car park cos hurrying back. Bloody car lost its number plate so replace with cardboard tied to the bumper with black marker scribbling on it.

Teaser

2008-10-24T00:57:00.002+08:00

Teaser: Unfinished neck of a black dragon.

No further images will be revealed until next year.

"Its on like Donkey Kong, biatch."
-Steve Stiffler-

Inintendo - Tekanan Jiwa

2008-10-21T13:12:00.002+08:00

Same concept as previous post. Sing to the video but use my lyrics again. For all you office workers out there.

Inintendo - Tekanan Jiwa

Pokainya tiada lagi duit ku kat Maybank,
Business ku bankrap,
Bekerja biar sampai setengah mati di... dunia ini
Kau tahu bertapa ku benci kerja ni,
Sikit duit OT sebagai ganti ooooh,
Hanya big boss menentukan bonus,
Arghhh tekanan jiwa

Oh kentut, sampaikan bauan ku pada boss,
Yang cekik darah,
Bank in kan lah gaji ku pada setiap end of month,
Untuk membayar bil

Kau tahu betapa ku benci boss aku,
Dua hari cuti untuk raya ni,
Naik angin,
Ku terlanggar dinding,
Arghhh tekanan jiwa.

Big Boss, minta tambah gaji ku,
ku rindu tilam bantal ku,
ku harap Boss naik gaji ku,
Setiap bulan

Kau tahu bertapa ku benci boss aku,
Hanya serbuk kopi belanja minum,
Macam tahi,
Serupa muka Boss,
Arghhh tekanan jiwa

Bencinya kerja ni,
Tunggu aku bakar bangunan ini,
Polis datang,
Masuk lokap terus,
Arghhh tekanan jiwa

** They look constipated in the video. Geli lah.

Manbai - Kau Meng-ham Ku

2008-10-20T01:53:00.003+08:00

Sing to this song but use my lyrics beneath the video ok? Enjoy.

Manbai - Kau Meng-ham Ku

Beribu ayam di Chow Kit kini menghilang,
Meraba aku dalam gelap,
Lampu neon mengambang kini makin suram
Pudar adik ku tanpa arah,

Sedetik wajahmu muncul celah kaki
Ada bebola ada bulu,
Itukah minyak atau pun barli suam,
Adik aku kau cowboy kan

Izinkan ku mencuri video tape biru mu,
Izinkan ku mencuri seluar dalam mu,
Maafkanlah oh...
Andai jantan ini mengganggu ruangan kaki mu,
Kau meraung ohhhhhh...
Sekadar memori kita di apartment ini,
Kau meng-ham ku

Izinkan ku mencuri video tape biru mu,
Kau meng-ham ku (x2)
Izinkan ku mencuri seluar dalam mu,
Kau meng-ham ku (x2)

Angelin's So Fat...

2008-10-19T01:12:00.001+08:00

ANGELIN'S SO FAT SHE MAKES WAYNE ROONEY LOOKS LIKE AN ANOREXIC
ANGELIN'S SO FAT WHEN SHE JUMPED INTO SOUTH CHINA SEA, THE WATER LEVEL SUNK SINGAPORE
ANGELIN'S SO FAT WHEN SHE LEAVES THE HOUSE IT'LL LOOK TOTALLY UNFURNISHED
ANGELIN'S SO FAT, AFTER SHE SAT ON IRON MAN, HE CAN BE RECYCLED
ANGELIN'S SO FAT, WHEN SHE FELL OFF THE PLANE, SHE WIPED OUT AFGHANISTAN
ANGELIN'S SO FAT WHEN ME AND RUIONKOH STAND NEXT TO HER WE LOOK LIKE MICRO-ORGANISM
ANGELIN'S SO FAT, EVEN ZOO NEGARA HAVE TO BREAK THE RECORD OF "THE LARGEST CAGE IN THE WORLD"
ANGELIN'S SO FAT, HER FOSSIL FORMED THE AFRICAN CONTINENT
ANGELIN'S SO FAT, IT TOOK THE UNITED NATION A CENTURY TO FINISH DISTRIBUTING HER TO THE STARVING AFRICANS
ANGELIN'S SO FAT, IT TOOK THE WHOLE DISCOVERY CHANNEL TEAM 15 YEARS TO FINISH MEASURING HER
ANGELIN'S SO FAT, SHE CAN PLAY THE WHOLE MIDFIELD FOR WIGAN FC
ANGELIN'S SO FAT, SHE CAN SQUEEZE HARRY IN BETWEEN HER ASS CHEEKS AND TRANSPORT HIM AROUND
ANGELIN'S SO FAT, SHE CAN STUFF HARRY INTO HER VAGINA
ANGELIN'S SO FAT, SHE MAKES BRUCE LEE PEE HIS PANTS
ANGELIN'S SO FAT, WHEN SHE STUFF HARRY INTO HER VAGINA, HE CAN PLAY BADMINTON IN THERE WITH LEE CHONG WEI
ANGELINE IS SO FAT THAT WHEN SHE MAKE ONE TURN MALAYSIA'S PRIME MINISTER IS MAHATHIR'S GRANDCHILD
ANGELIN'S SO FAT THAT USAIN BOLT DIED OF DEHYDRATION RUNNING AROUND HER
ANGELIN'S SO FAT WHEN SHE WALK IN BETWEEN KLCC, MALAYSIA HAVE 2 LEANING TOWER OF PISA
ANGELIN'S SO FAT WHEN SHE CLIMBED MOUNT EVEREST, MOUNT KINABALU BECAME THE TALLEST MOUNTAIN IN THE WORLD
ANGELIN'S SO FAT, SHE STUFF JAY INTO HER VAGINA SO HARRY CAN PLAY TENNIS WITH HIM
ANGELIN'S SO FAT, SHE STUFF PAT INTO HER VAGINA SO HARRY AND JAY GOT MAHJUNG KAKI

4th Year

2008-10-18T00:44:00.006+08:00

Every year I will have one post on either July or August on my old blog for someone. This year, I've totally forgotten about it. Most of us know what Sherry is going through right now. Reading her latest entry reminds me of someone who taught me how to be someone better when I was younger. Losing a friend is a news that's extremely hard to digest, because everyone will not anticipate that person you know will be gone so suddenly. This is for this year, 3rd year in a row, 3 months late.

I first knew him as a hi-bye type of friend when I was working part time. A random face that popped up at the cyber cafe once in a while to do his work and stuffs. After a while, when he has free time, we would have a good chat while having dinner or a drink at night in front of the place. Although family background is very much different and at first he seem to have this air of arrogance around him, we have quite some topics to talk about for a good 1-2 hours. Before I know him, I've already heard of his reputation from his circle of friends.

What they say about him seems quite far-fetched from the person I know. Once he had a heated argument with someone over the phone and was shouting all the time. Yes, a very hot tempered guy indeed. After the call, he sat down and continued our little yum cha session. He spoke like nothing ever happened while it was just about 30 seconds ago he was shouting like a madman over the phone. I wish I, along with a lot of other people, can be just like you. Never venting your anger on someone else who's not involved. You can continue the conversation as if you just had to stop to tie your shoelace. Tattoos, this idiot reversed his car all the way when he missed a turn and banged into your car near Sunway, the people around you, swiping for a plate of local fruits for your dad's client and got a WTF moment over the price, and how you got those stitches on your mouth lol.

Although I don't hang out with him after my part-time job's shift is done, he will always remind me of his good side. Whenever I see him, he never fail to say hello or hi with the name and a smile. Most people would just nod or smile when they see someone they know, like I do. Sometimes, I was sitting there being a listener while he talk about his problems. How backstabbing some people he consider as close friends are, how some of them treat him as an ATM, how they think he's are a 'nevermind' type of person just because he call them friend, while all along he was holding back from a more serious confrontation.

At Subang Square, I always avoid walking through the entrance that is facing Taylor's Business School. That's the last place I ever saw him alive. After quite some time and not keeping in touch, he still greet with that friendly smile. Sitting on the staircase chatting, he was very happy that he's going to UK to further his studies very soon. I still remember he was waiting for the girlfriend to fetch him as his beemer was in the workshop. We chatted for about half an hour, catching up with what's in between the no-contact time. Then he left when she arrived. Unknowingly, that will be the last time I talk to him.

A year plus down the road, I bumped into one of his friends, and got news he's back. Then I forgot all about it. I walked pass the newspaper stand for 3 straight days, I remember the headlines stating that a Datuk's son was killed. I don't read newspaper at all back then. I don't know how this world works, but it seems like something wanted to let me know the truth that I wasn't aware of at that time. For once I bought a copy of The Star and went home. I saw his name, and I refused to believe. Flipping straight to the page of news, I saw his photo. I texted his friends and after a while, they confirmed that he's really gone.

I was stoned and quiet for the whole day. Tried really hard to digest the fact, but it doesn't work and I couldn't go to bed as I was still trying to think that its not possible. When everyone was fast asleep, I was at the balcony, smoking for a few hours before I finally accepted the fact. The next day, I re-read the news. He was only 23. With a very bright future and near to becoming someone's husband. Can you imagine what its like to read that your friend was beaten to death in an uneven fight that he stood his ground, alone?

We share the same temper, but not the same amount of guts. If my guts would be as big as his, I would no doubt be talking to him on the otherside by now. I didn't know when was the funeral, I didn't want to know at all. Until today, I don't regret I wasn't at the funeral to see him one last time. I want to keep the memory that I last see him saying bye, a handshake, and walking off with a smile. Not lying motionless, because he's always so full of life.

I remember what we talked and joked about, and the problems he shared. It's good knowing him, someone who disregard status, arrogance, and pride. Irregardless of what others tell me about him, how other people look at him, he will always be a good person in my memory. I have yet to pay my respects after 4 years. One of these days, I will. Knowing that he was a religious person, there's no doubt he's at a better place right now.

Everyone will lose track of certain people they've met and known previously. We'll always think 'some other time' or probably will bump into that person somewhere, someday, sometime. Fact is, you just might not.

You would've been 27 by this year.
Rest In Peace my friend.

AC Ryan

2008-10-15T12:14:00.006+08:00

No, its not me and a guy named Ryan starting a relationship. Its a modding & data company AC Ryan. I was peeing in the toilet this morning around 11.30am when one of my housemates shouted for me saying there's someone down there. All blur went to put on my pants and walked out. Hey... a Fedex guy! I looked at the size of the package lying on the ground and didn't anticipate for it to be that wide. So up to my room to tear into what I get after 4 months of paper mache.

HAH, my previous employer (FEDEX) now have to serve me!

Larger than a pillow

Took me quite some time to open it up as I didn't read the packing list first. So basically, I don't wanna just stab the sealed area and wreck whatever that is underneath the line. I can see MoTM (Mod of The Month) July stated on the piece of paper mwahahahaha.

Looks a lot, but 2 things are really weighing it down

The first thing I checked was the packing list. AC Ryan t-shirt. Checked. Its stated as XL but the body width is alright, just the shoulder part is a bit droopy when I wear it. Yeah, its still on me since 11.30am till now. Its my shirt-of-the-day.

I know, cute bedsheet.

Haha, you ain't got one

Second item, U-Drive Mini USB2.0 to SATA2 converter with silicone casing for 2.5" hard drive. Checked. Cool thing, I don't have to slug a bulky thing around next time. Too bad my current one is an IDE external hard disk, but its dying, making clicking noise. So I'd get a new SATA one to go with Mr. Rubber right here.

Main site link: AC Ryan UDrive Mini

Third item. Mesh and panel sample dog tags. Really cool little thing although it just serve as a sample. K, that will be my new keychain. Kinda bulky though and the panels will scratch the hell out of each other.

Declaring war on stock pc cases

Next up, daddy's favorite. PLEXI! (that's transparent plastic we use for modding) So after Brett requested for them to include some into the package, I got two. One a UV lime green sheet, and the other looks white at first but the edge gave it away, a UV blue sheet. When you chuck in some UV lights or CCFL near these babies they'll glow. Dimension: 5mm thick, 48cm (W) x 48cm (L).

Main site's link: AC Ryan AcrylPanel

Plexi: the 2 big thing on the left

Not so visible in their protective wrapping

There, its blue not clear

Cool. Does Brett or the ACR folks over in Netherlands have sixth sense? Cos I was considering between either blue or green to go with dark overalls for my next mod. Fun ends here, sadly, 2 more last thing to go. ~~Simon~~ Packing list says: brushed metal panels. Anodized green and anodized gold. Much thinner than the plexi but 50cm x 50cm panels.

Main site link: AC Ryan AluPanel

Green. Phone's cam sucks when there's like 50% of light in the room

Gold adds a touch of class to a mod, period. No arguments allowed.

Am not ripping off the protective material just to flaunt their sexy brushed looks. Here's how it should look like from the panel & mesh sample dog tag for gold. Green, you figure it out yourself or check the main site link I provided on top of each item.

Still very much a wide-eyed guy ogling at the prize pack stuffs sitting around my room. Good deal for my 4 months of work on Paperazzi. Tho I would love to get another one of their favorite stuff in the package; any steel mesh; this package is really superb. I wouldn't trade any fans, CCFL or fancy UV paints for the stuffs I got in the box. So a big thanks to the folks at Bit Tech especially Brett Thomas and them nice people at AC Ryan for the stuffs, and here's free advertising if any local modders drop by lol.

THANK YOU!

UPDATES: just after 4 hours tearing into the pack, went on TBCS and won the business card design thing. Now I'm getting a 450W power supply. *grins like idiot*

Worldwide Scanners

2008-10-13T15:17:00.006+08:00

Read this post by a Singaporean blogger about some Nigerian scammer trying to BS his/her way. If a computer scaNNer is made typical by each country, I wonder what it'll be like.

Nigerian scanner: whatever you scan, your screen blacks out

What the fuck happened to my monitor???

American scanner: scan any photo and it'll turn up as Bill Gates telling you your copy of Microsoft Windows is pirated

Japanese scanner: error message on anything without the fucked up "kawaii" pose

Chinese scanner: "Made In China" watermark on anything you scan

German scanner: a patch of moustache will automatically show up on your scanned photo

Told you it works

Indian scanner: brightness level auto-adjust to dark after you scan a photo and its made of marble

Italian scanner: looks good, feels good, scans really fast, and costs you RM40,000 each

French scanner: it'll give up even before you start scanning

Thai scanner: auto-adjust for boobs enhancement and "lady-fication" for guys' photo

Ladyfication in progress

Singaporean scanner: refuse to scan unless everyone in the photo looks decent and obedient

Korean scanner: will only scan photos when you're in Starcraft-like space suit

Filipino scanner: instead of "OK" and "Cancel" on software's interface, its "Yes Mom" and "No Mastah"

Portuguese scanner: when its scanning really fast, tap it and it'll fall off from where you place it

Portuguese ~~diver~~ scanner

Brit scanner: all time format will be in 90-minute format, with extra time available

Indonesian scanner: cheap, doesn't need any import license, but immigration will confiscate it if they see you carrying one around

Bangladeshi scanner: you can leave it on and it'll work 365 days a year without a single problem

Malaysian scanner: looks the same like some Japanese brand scanner, the brand will start with a "P", breaks down every month, on sleep mode most of the time, and doesn't come with an original copy of driver

Malaysian scanner's equivalent

Nokia Halloween whatever thing

2008-10-11T09:36:00.007+08:00

As per request.

All you need is a Nokia on silent + vibrate mode to bring your dead grandma back. Don't believe? See our famous A-list stars that returned after using Nokia.

James Dean got two

Sweeney Todd has one, hard times in London

Bruce Lee has two from his Hollywood money

Elvis is thrifty, he got one only

Too indulged in Snake, ring stolen, Sauron pissed.

And why the hell do you think Iron Man is so strong?

Now where's mine, Nuffnang?

For those who's been asking what's my MSN title's about, go clean your DVD cabinet and dig into them pile of sohai movies from 4 years ago.

Modding Updates

2008-10-09T07:41:00.001+08:00

Been quite a while since I last did a mod-related post. Supposed to start on the LCD mod but well, stuffs are holding me back cause I don't want a mod to be left hanging mid-air. And I can't estimate how long I need for the mod due to the CCFL (that's the "lights" thingy for you non-modding people) extension from the back of the monitor. There's been a couple of spins and people bringing up the word again on a couple of places. Still remember this block of monster with hardware as harmless as Hello Kitty?

U.K

Got a reply from Brett Thomas, one of Bit Tech's staffs. He's forwarded my details and address to AC Ryan and notified that they'll get my prize pack sent over a.s.a.p. I'll just have to wait. In case you don't know where the prize pack comes from, here: Bit Tech's July Mod of The Month. There's gonna be "bits of this and that and AC Ryan acrylic" in the package as what Brett wrote to me. I've never seen a piece of ACR plexi in front of me before, so that's sorta good for me. I'll chuck everything I got from this prize pack into my next mod.

U.S

Francis Sutherland from TBCS (check that damn site if you don't know who owns it) pm-ed me on MSN as soon as I logged on. They got something up for TBCS and just grabbing some opinions from non-staff members. Hell I'd love to grab my hands on the thing they're coming up with but too bad, no paypal no credit card. I guess I'll have to go another way, by hook or by crook, if Paperazzi is on one of it haha.

MY

Been talking to my "sifu", Kent20. Haven't seen him for like 4-5 or probably more years. He suggested a crossover, or in simpler terms "collaboration" to come up with a mod. I need to sort out some stuffs first before starting any more mods. I wonder how things will turn out if we do eventually finish a total scratch crossover. He's more of a plastic guy and I'm a paper guy. That would be a weird hybrid of a case.

That's all for now. Still waiting for Ken Kirby's business card design result. That powah supply would do me some good for my next mod. Faceless Pipol will be back for the next post. I just don't have time nor mood to draw right now.

Fucking Suey Car

2008-10-07T15:44:00.002+08:00

Ma chee bye. I can't resist cursing right now. After 2 days to the post office to renew my fucking road tax, today only I found out (and remembered) the bloody insurance runs out 4 months from now and I have to get it extended. Can't even renew for 6 fucking months. Puniabo, seriously this fucking chee bye car has been giving me more troubles than convenience ever since I bought it. You chee bye fucking useless car.

First it was early this year when I wanted to renew the road tax. Paid for the insurance and then found out there's 2 outstanding saman on the car. After getting Tetek's insider to check, oh it was a typo and 2 samans that are not supposed to go to my car. Have that issue cleared, and its already been 2 fucking months since I paid my insurance so then, can only renew for 6 months. Since its due on this Thursday, I thought of renewing it and pocketing my 625.

Ma chee bye, now this pulak after waiting for nearly 20 numbers at the post office. Have to call Mun, my insurance runner, to get the company to extend it for 2 fucking bloody months so I can have it renewed for another... 6 pathetic motherfucking months. Kanina. I swear this will be the last time I tolerate with the fucking car. Problems after problems in 2 years you kanina chee bye suey car. One more time you give me ONE more problem, just ONE MORE, I swear to every fucking rocks on the roadside I'll either send you to the chop shop to make sure they tear every single part out of you while you can still work, or I'll just do what Jeremy Clarkson did to one of your siblings.

You chee bye fucking suey lanjiao car. You mark my words. Even if you can miraculously start talking and tell me "No, gaffer, no no, gaffer" I will still make sure you don't fucking work anymore.

Jose Jose~

2008-10-06T11:46:00.003+08:00

Last night finally the team reminds me of the trophy winning Chelsea gain. Deprived of some almost 4 key players, my team tapau-ed Aston Villa that's having a very good season so far until last nite. Joe Cole & Anelka scored. The still-standing Stamford Bridge unbeaten record reminds me of Jose Mourinho out of nowhere. He reminds me of "LOL". Because of these, a little rewind:

Pick Shevchenko

and this one...

Jose & His Amazing Technicolor Overcoat

and finally...

I Sign A Little Player or Two

LOL. Jose is The Funneh One on youtube.

LOLDREAM

2008-10-04T10:23:00.003+08:00

This happened like 3 nights ago. I rarely remember my dreams but this one still can clearly remember right after I woke up. I LOL-ed when I rewind, and yesterday when I told Sherry, Sue, OMG, and W3, they also LOL-ed. WTF lah this dream. Its like a cut scene where I am in the middle of a gang fight, pek-ing one of the rivals' member. Suddenly someone threw a parang at my direction.

Donno meh lan dream lei geh...

What Century Is It Nao?

2008-10-03T02:59:00.003+08:00

How stupid can people be? Read this news on The Star online and I still can't stop laughing. They deserve to die, and those who did the ritual deserve the same fate. Quoted from the article:

"KUALA LUMPUR: A couple who went to a relative’s house for Hari Raya and agreed to an “alternative treatment” to rid them of their problems, ended up dead after being battered with helmets and broomsticks during the cleansing ritual."

To cut the story short:

Here's the full story:
Couple going for ‘treatment’ beaten to death

What.. no meriam buluh so replace the KABOOM with helmet & broom?

Slept Through Tuesday

2008-10-01T05:05:00.003+08:00

So busy yet so bored. Slept for 15 freakin hours! Woke up its like "Oh ok, Tuesday's almost over". Was supposed to go get my namecard done today but since now its officially Halle Laya haih, wait till the sub re-opened lah. Did 4 designs then starts banging balls with nothing to do. Wanted to draw, but brain too worked from designing so can't seem to find an idea for Faceless Pipol right nao.

Busy means very the busy

Free means very free

Bored means bored to death

Nothing to post...

Selamat Halle Laya to all Moosleems

What The Fuck???

2008-09-29T14:22:00.004+08:00

Ran out of my usual 3-in-1 Nescafe Gold so have to kling klong the coffee powder. I remember the last time I made coffee using Nescafe's coffee powder was about a month ago. Somehow, something happened to my beloved kopi.. whether the container's fault or my fault I don't know. Guess how surprised I am to find my coffee powder looking like this:

Looks normal from outside? When I open it, it looks very wrong like a child born to a female orc from Lord of The Rings and fathered by Smeagol/Gollum.

My black coffee powdah.. turned grey. Yeah, silverish grey like concrete. MCB. When I lift the spoon up, even worse. Now it doesn't look like concrete, it FEELS like concrete.

See it in full glory on the roof having its sun tan. Should I keep it? Rarely get something like this, probably I'll wait to see if it'll do a Gandalf (grey to white).

KNN. Waste me another 10 bucks and 15 mins walk to get a new bottle and the bloody 7-11 doesn't sell any 3-in-1. My coffee FTW.

Today is my sistah's bird day... exactly 2 months later than mine. Happy bird day old lady. Hope you can trade your extra wrinkles for foreign currency. Your husband is rich enough to supply you with your endless LV goods so don't come asking anything from this poor guy.

NAMECUT

2008-09-27T17:20:00.004+08:00

I haz a new site for me namecard designs. Itiz called NAMECUT. Sikit sikit example of how to go around customizing your own cards at NAMECUT.

Lai lai hop over and take a look. Click the "NAMECUT" above the pic or the button on the upper right corner of this bollog. Tengkiumanymuj.

Fake BB Danger

2008-09-26T04:02:00.001+08:00

Think twice before pumping them up next time. You don't want your assets to go boom boom on you, ladies.

For once I carried a bag for a lady.

Tumpang glamour her LV lol.

Music: Past & Present

2008-09-25T07:14:00.014+08:00

Was bored and not even 1% sleepy last nite so was cracking my head to dig back old music from early till late 90s to download. I ended up with something funny. AQUA and their "Aquarium" album. Don't know? Nevermind. Here are artists that I've followed for a couple of albums. Don't really have a passion for screaming bastards except for a couple of tracks, so yeah, not really a very very heavy metal type of music for me. And I usually will backtrack to an artist/band's earlier albums.

First well, Bon Jovi. If you really don't know "Always", I got nothing to say. Backtrack and got some of their older albums. From there, it was The Offspring. Started with "Come Out & Play" and I bought their next album; Ixnay On The Hombre, then Americana. Still following their new albums although Conspiracy of One was downloaded. Shh.

Moved on to Metallica after I heard Memory Remains and starts backtracking to their more glorious tracks and albums. Been buying almost all their albums (Load, Reload, S&M, St. Anger) although not very impressed with St. Anger. Dropped like a sack of potatoes.

Before I leave the final year of secondary school, another friend told me about MM; Marilyn Manson. First thought "Is that a girl?". So went and bought a copy of Antichrist Superstar. HOOKED like a crack addict. Heck, back then to me the sound Manson & his band was playing is beyond god-like.

Early 2000, I bought this capalang mixed-artists metal album cos I was intrigued by the names on the album. Buckcherry with one of their old songs which I can't remember what the title is. Ya, Josh Todd didn't just come out of nowhere with "Sorry" ok? And there was Korn with Trash, still a follower of Korn's stuffs.

Coal Chamber was in the CD too. The moment "Loco" played, its like.. um.. epic orgasm? Though the song is about 1-2 years old by then. I still listen to it nowadays, along with "Fiend" and the funnily-titled "Shock The Monkey" featuring the epic Ozzy Osbourne. They eventually disbanded and the lead singer, Dez Fafara, formed Devildriver which I have followed for 2 albums.

Not really into the lyrics or vocals but more into Johnny B's drums (go YouTube "Clouds Over California" or "These Fighting Words"). Meh, I miss watching Nadja Peulen on bass.. so much tastier than Rayna. Slipknot Slipknot Slipknot! First time I heard of them, I don't know, did I download or was it in the CD too? They were weird at first, 8 masked guys. People=Shit then I got Wait & Bleed etc etc. Only started to sort of tidy up their stuffs starting from Subliminal Verses album and now I only got Psychosocial from their latest album.

After that I heard Nobody's Real by Powerman 5000. Don't know if they're still around or not. Still listen to their older tracks like Bombshell, Supernova Goes Pop, Free, etc. About a year or two later I found out the lead singer, Spider, sounds like someone. More on that later.

Saw Kid Rock's Bawitdaba on MTV and bought his Devil Without A Cause. Still following till today (Cocky, that album with American Bad Ass in it, Kid Rock). From Kid Rock sorta come Ah Lim Biskut... Limp Bizkit that was on that mixed CD with Nookie. Onwards to their Chocolate Starfish album but then their next album was... hopeless (the one James Iha replaced Wes Borland on guitar), and finally Wes Borland left the band (I heard he's back, dunnoh).

I heard someone with vocals almost similar to Spider from Powerman 5000. It turned out to be ROB ZOMBIE. I was, no doubt, went crazy on my The Sinister Urge album, playing it till who knows how many times a day. Backtracking to his older stuffs during White Zombie days, I still find his line-up with Riggs, Blasko, and Tempesta is the one that suits my ears. After Educated Horses and then he started directing movies. Mehh, prolly no more albums from me favorite artist. And oh yeah, why do they sound the same? Cos he's Spider's brother. Serious.

Randy burned me a CD which contains a song called Pig Society. When I played it, that was one of the songs in the capalang CD I bought in early 2000. Its by Dope from Felon & Revolutionnaires album. Epic orgasm, again. From there onwards, there's always Dope on my playlist. Life, Group Therapy, American Apathy, American Apathy Reloaded (I lost their updated version of Burn and Fuck Tha Police). Even their demo "Little Fish" that has been revamped for American Apathy titled "Fuck The World".

Dope. Them good. Too bad Racci Shay left. That's all for now. Some bands are not to be placed in the list as they usually involve a single track, or disbanded after a while. I got some older bands like Guns N Roses, Led Zeppelin, Pearl Jam, AC/DC, Scorpion, Motley Crue, Iron Maiden, and even Elvis. I swear I'm gonna use a flamethrower on whoever that stole my Motley Crue's Greatest Hits CD. It just went POOF. Dammit.

So what's your past and present for music?

Kotexman Ep.1

2008-09-25T00:16:00.000+08:00

Crime rate is escalating in one of the smaller cities in The Chee Bye Empire, AV City (Auntie Visit City). The Messiah has decided to train a new superhero to fight crime around the Empire, especially in AV City. Chee byes & germs, the world premiere of...

KOTEXMAN

Next episode: The birth of Kotexman & Period Man

As LOL as LOLnaldo

2008-09-24T01:10:00.005+08:00

Cheesus Kryst. Its been a long long time since I've read something so sarcastically written, sarcastic till its so damn funny. Usually when you go to football news site what do you expect? Yada yada yada "a glorious cross from X met by a thumping header by Y" or "A keeps his faith in B and hopes that bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch". This is different. I'll quote the funny part just to keep it short.

Quoted from: Soccernet
Title: "Fifth official: The last look at the weekend"
Writer: The Fifth Official
Synopsis: Talking about what happened in England (BPL) over the weekend

Nicolas Anelka's expression after missing from 4 yards
"I bet you could sit him down, tell him he's won £250m on the lottery, been asked out for half a shandy by Scarlett Johansson or that his house had exploded and that sulking-mug wouldn't even offer up a flicker."

Robinho's performance, Man City 6-0 Portsmouth
"and presumably laughed until he fell over when he found out David James is currently England's number one keeper."

Mike Ashley avoiding the fans, NUFC's managerless team
"Newcastle United's team coach must have a half decent sat-nav system installed because with their management's woeful lack of direction at the minute they'd probably have ended up in Tajikistan had they organised it themselves."

Gianfranco Zola, against Newcastle
"his first game in charge of the 'Appy Ammers was against a rudderless, managerless and clueless club who are the Olympic gold medallists at implosion."

Theo Walcott's hype after hattrick against Croatia
"19-year-old was thrust into the limelight like a pushy mother forcing her goofy daughter to murder another Britney Spears song in front of a sneering reality show panel."

"articles about how good he was at school, his preferred breakfast or what his other half's favourite soap is."

"wait until he shanks a pen in the quarter-finals of the World Cup then dismantle the kid like he was a sideboard from Ikea. Then it'll be wasted talent this, WAG-obsessed that and before you know it he'll be drinking white spirit and begging outside White Hart Lane*."

Wigan's chairman praising Amir Zaki & Steve Bruce
"Now that is delusion of the highest order. Why doesn't he just go the whole hog and claim Titus Bramble has fulfilled his tag as the most promising defender of his generation?"

Tottenham Hotspurs' recent performance
"Mind you, even Calamity Bramble himself managed to shut out the Spurs and their £30m-worth of attacking talent. Now that is funny."

I lol-ed harder when I read this than how I lol-ed when I watch the replay of Lolnaldo diving and got yellowed.

LOL. I finally got off my lazy fingers and edited...

LOLnaldo. Lol.

War 101: 100% Win

2008-09-23T21:36:00.006+08:00

Today's lesson is how to win at wars. Hah, you think solely bringing in tua kong weapons and technology can win? Can, but we need to modify the current technology to outwit the enemies. Don't tell me you really think guerilla warfare and desert warfare can use the same tactic? Here are 6 ways to get a 100% sure win result when your country goes to war. But if your army got tapau then don't blame me.

Now who wanna hire me as tactical advisor?

Off topic: Why are some people so afraid of their own name?

Murder 101: Simple Weapons

2008-09-22T07:43:00.001+08:00

Today limpeh teach you how to lam or kill someone with very simple weapons. No need buy advanced weapons or anything that will attract cops. Want to kill from distance? No problem. These are 5 very advanced methods of killing. Practice hard to master them. I don't guarantee insurance for you.

credits to celestialshivo

Enjoy your new-found powah!

TCBE Royalty

2008-09-22T03:11:00.007+08:00

Introducing The Chee Bye Empire elite members & The Royal Chee Bye family.

The Messiah of CB
Acey

The CB Goddess
Sherry

King of Berudu // Queen of MCHs
W3 & Jen Ai

Prince of Fake CBs // Princess of MCBs
Mesha (gender-confused) & Benjicajess (POM)

Na beh...

2008-09-21T17:13:00.003+08:00

Tiok liao loh. Kena this Friendster-type of thing already loh from POM.

THE SELF
[01] Name: Raymond
[02] Nickname: Acey, Buffalo
[03] Married: Nope
[04] Zodiac Sign: Leo... lolcats
[05] Gender: Male
[06] Age: 25
[07] High School: SMK Sacred Heart
[08] College: INTI College Subang Jaya
[09] Height: 178cm
[10] Weight: 50kg
[11] Do you like yourself: Weight-wise no, skin-wise very yes
[12] Piercings: None
[13] Right or left: -
[14] Are you a freak: Yes, caffeine & ink-wise
[15] Hair: Black
[16] Skin: Arms & chest - normal, legs & back - black LOL
[17] Allergic: Steel (esp oily ones) and dust
[18] What are you doing now: This bloody thing
[19] What will you do 1 hour later: Eating 2 burgers nomnomnom
[20] What will you do 10 years later: 35, retired... or dead

THE FAMILY
[21] Live with mother/father/parents: No
[22] Siblings(included you): One very old sister
[23] Eldest: Sister
[24] Youngest: Me
[25] Love/hate your family: Somewhere in between

THE LOVE
[26] You found your another half: No
[27] If yes, who is he/she: None
[28] If no, who you want he/she to be: There is only one Nadja Peulen
[29] Time(s) you in relationship: 4
[30] Ever woo boy/girl(0-100000): DUH, and what's the 0-10000 thing?
[31] Anyone woo you before(0-100000): Twice, both weird people... urgh
[32] Did anything wrong to your other half: Don't think I did.
[33] What was/were the wrong you had done: None?
[34] Ever argue with your other half: Who don't?
[35] You with your other half since: Has joined the 'monastery' for 7 months
[36] Are you straight/gay: Lesbian... trapped in a guy's body
[37] Reasons you love your other half: Already told you single lor
[38] You and your other half in which stage: Haduih...
[39] You woo he/she or he/she woo you: Haiya...
[40] Ever think of marry he/she: Diu lah

THE FRIENDS
[41] Your first best friend: Albert Toh
[42] Your first enemy: None, I don't have the need to make friends with everyone
[43] The friend you love the most: Chris Chu
[44] The enemy you hate the most(1only): None, if people don't like me then be it
[45] Your most beautiful girl friend: This is hard... Rach? Kay Ti? Andrea? Inderjeet? Angelica?
[46] Your most handsome guy friend: Gemmonn Sim (weird name right?)
[47] The kind of girl you hate the most: "Dahling, this one how? Then that one leh?" USE YOUR FUCKIN BRAIN!
[48] The kind of boy you hate the most: One who tells tall stories and thinks people don't know its bullshit
[49] You fall in love with your close friend before: No way
[50] Your best friend is your ex-lover: No, I haven't seen all 4 of them
[51] If your friend backstabbing you: He/She'll be in a lot of trouble
[52] If your friend betray you: Do they even dare to?
[53] If your friend woo your lover: I got steady friends so I don't worry bout this
[54] If your friend fall in love with you: Er, if girls I don't mind, but guys.. I'd run
[55] If you fall in love with your best friend: Its a HE so I won't

THE STUDIES
[56] Are you a good student: No, I went to college with newspaper only
[57] You always done your homeworks/assignments: Yes, when it comes to final year
[58] The teacher/tutor you love the most: Ah Jane.. so damn happening
[59] Always late to school/college: Most of the time no-show cos the sun's too high when I open my eyes
[60] Your class: You can't get any noisier than ours
[61] You love your seniors: Don't really know too many of them
[62] Senior who you love the most: Trincy Teoh, her brain is equivalent to "sot plug"
[63] Your classmates good/bad: Good as in friends, bad as in for the lecturers xD
[64] Excellent result classmate: Kenneth Goh Kambing. Play hard work smart kambing
[65] Laziest classmate: If I put myself next to me in class

THE PEOPLE
[66] Smart people: Alexan Chor
[67] Stupid people: None other than Teteknator
[68] Good looking people: A lot ler donno who to start with
[69] Ugly people: I've seen a lot with ugly 'insides'. If you mean 'yong soi' then me lor LOL
[70] Funny people: Mugu, Teck Soon, Kok
[71] Cute people: Jen Ai... naturally cute LOL
[72] Bad people: Do you include liars?
[73] Honest people: Uma
[74] Acting people: This guy 3 shops away from Chris' PC shop. I donno his name.
[75] You are what kind of people: PMS. Pretty Mean Slut

THE PREFER
[76] Lip or eyes: Can I choose boobies?
[77] Hugs or kisses: What comes after that
[78] Shorter or taller: Taller
[79] Hesitant or spontaneous: Spontaneous
[80] Nice stomach or nice arms: Nice tuakified
[81] Listener or talker: Depending on my volatile mood swings
[82] Romantic or rich: Rich, if you mean myself
[83] Good wife or good mother: What difference does it make? It all still comes back to me duh.

THE FUTURE
[84] Age to get marry: Between 33-35, I don't like to be on a leash
[85] Numbers of kid(s): Don't know, 2 probably?
[86] Career: That's a word in resume to make ppl actually think I'm interested in working for em
[87] Salary: This is a stupid question, the more the better duh.
[88] Retirement age: 35-40
[89] Properties value: I doubt I'll need to go into that, shops probably
[90] Wishes: Question 84-89 will happen 5 years earlier LOL

THE VICTIMS
[91] Spectre
[92] SS
[93] Sue
[94] Muncakes
[95] Sherry
[96] Super Cute Jen Ai
[97] Wet Wet Water
[98] Ah Pek
[99] Tiuniasing
[100] Harry BLP Kia